I commented to Josh yesterday that I am excited to one day have Big Kids. 3 children that don’t need to be hovered over! I can’t even imagine what that future will be like. (Though I did realize that by the time G reaches the magical age of 5, A will be almost 11 and I can imagine that will not be the world’s easiest time for either of us!).
And at the same time, I feel like time is passing so quickly, and it makes me sad. I made an executive decision to wean G on my upcoming trip . . . and then I did a complete 180 and decided to just bring the pump and keep up with our 2x/day thing as long as we are both still enjoying the nursing relationship.
I want to have babies forever and I want them to grow up.
I am tired of having to constantly watch her every move to keep her safe and yet I don’t want to see her baby features fade.
Parenting. Full of paradoxes. And adventures. And surprises.
Last weekend was a mostly solo parenting weekend, and this upcoming weekend will be childfree. Our nanny will be with the kids while both Josh and I attend work conferences in different places. (Please note – I am sure some would judge us for this — not readers here! but in general — and yet if I stated that the grandparents were watching them, they probably wouldn’t. We don’t have grandparents in the position to do that, but I am confident the care they receive will be loving and excellent just like it is when I am at work!).
Anyway. I will have Thursday evening through Monday to leave most of my parenting-related thoughts behind and focus on my own professional development (and probably some of the personal too, because hey, it’s all linked!). I plan on:
- doing some deeper thinking about my schedule in general — I am reading Free to Focus which does have some inspiring content about eliminating work tasks that are nonessential/not serving anyone well
- going running in non-humid conditions!
- finally finish reading the novel I have been stuck on for the past 1.5 months
- really immersing myself in the academic content of the conference – it has been THREE YEARS since my last endo conference and I am so excited to catch up in some key areas
- get my planning game on and look at Q2 goals (and perhaps some brainstorming about Q3, or summer)
Clearly, I am excited! I am a little nervous that G will miss me but I know she will be okay. There are 365 days in a year, so if I spend even 10 of them away from the kids . . . that’s a whopping 2.7%.
I think they will be okay.
Some belated pix from my (mostly solo) weekend:
It’s 6:03 AM – workout time. I have been very pleased with my mornings this past week, mostly because the kids have been sleeping until closer to 7. If they can continue this onto summer it will be magical, because I won’t even have to drag A out of bed for school and mornings will be quite relaxed! Let’s hope this trend continues . . .
7 Comments
I have to say I’m 80% excited for my 3 year old to grow up and 20% nostalgic about missing her baby/toddler funniness. I think I’ll enjoy the “big kid” stage much more than I do now cause … sadly I often do not enjoy parenting. I do hope this changes as she gets older.
Honestly I do feel like overall it gets better! I do prefer snuggly babies to toddlers which is maybe why I want to nurse G forever and not admit to myself that we’re inching closer and closer to true toddlerhood . . . .aghghgh!
5 is a great age and 7 seems to be pretty fantastic. They really do get more self-sufficient, helpful, and interesting to spend time with. And yet I’m still wistful for the old squishy versions that will never return!
It’s one of those great paradoxes of parenting no one warned me about – that I could long for my child to stay a baby even as I’m hoping he outgrows toddlerhood much more rapidly than the books (and common sense!) would indicate.
YES to that paradox, thanks for summarizing it nicely. My kids are all three similar ages to yours, the youngest is three months younger (13mos now). How will your nanny put G to bed? I’m facing this tonight for the first time post pumping & leaving a bottle. I still nurse her if not to sleep, at least to sleepy and we are going out tonight prior to bedtime. Not
quite sure how this will work for our babysitter…
I’m probably one of few readers excited that you’re going to an ENDO conference. EEEEEK!! Hope they talk tech developments like Looping! <3
I am sad to say there was NOT that much diabetes content 🙁 Lots of puberty, growth, repro endo, gender stuff – not a lot of diabetes! I did miss one diabetes talk I wish I could have gone to b/c I had to go to a different one. Hopefully one year I will have a reason to attend the ADA (biggest diabetes conference) and get more T1 and T2 specific info!!
(Looping YES we need more provider education on that including the rogue options . . .)
WAAAAHHH, however, look at me airing my assumption that Endo = diabetes focus, LOL! Oh, yes, we rogues are out in full force. Hacking management! (A wee bit scary, for sure.) Glad your “getaway” was meaningful in many ways!