I had a very bad day yesterday. Hopefully today will be better.
A list of thoughts. No other format seems right this morning.
1- No one really knows what the right thing to do is. Since this event in unprecedented, there’s . . . well, no precedent. (Yes, Spanish flu was bad but in 1918 the world looked very different.) Honestly, I am tired of the squabbling and endless debate already. And so much anger on both sides.
2- It is very stressful to receive one plan and then have it be contradicted by another plan 3 hours later. But, that is what seems necessary now. It is hard to be a leader right now, and yet we’ve never been more dependent on good leadership.
3- That job that I love and am normally grateful to have? I didn’t have this event on my mental calculus when I wrote that post, or when I made the Big Life Choices that I did. (Did anyone?!) Right now, things are incredibly stressful and — in direct opposition to my own recent post! — I feel very sad that I cannot be fully there for the kids.
4- Sometimes it’s okay to cry. I had a full on sob session (upstairs in my “office”) yesterday. This scenario just sucks. For everyone. YES, I am lucky on so many levels — I know we are unlikely to starve, lose our financial security, or our health. BUT IT ALL STILL SUCKS and it’s okay to be sad about it even in the midst of an avalanche of cheery advice.
That’s enough for today. I hope return with some positivity tomorrow.