I’m 40 now.
This is definitely the first birthday that has me thinking deeply about meaning and legacy and mortality and beyond. It may or may not be my halfway point but . . . it’s certainly possible that it is. This calculator gives me a more optimistic 46.2 years left based on risk factors! Not too bad. But still finite. I mean, I know now what it was like to live 40 years and it just . . . didn’t feel that long.
While I know it is trite (and impossible!) to “ENJOY EVERY DAY!” — pandemic or not — I certainly don’t want to waste my limited time here. I said in my podcast episode yesterday that I didn’t really have goals for this new decade of life. But on further reflection, I just have one major goal: I don’t want to waste it.
Things that feel wasteful:
— worrying too much about what others think (especially those I do not respect)
— obsessing on outcomes that are not entirely under my control
— toooooooooo much mindless scrolling/clicking (though some is fine. I think.)
Things that never feel wasteful:
— connecting with others
— enjoying great books, delicious food, inspiring performances, and nature. (Doesn’t have to be fancy. I had a ball last night cleaning up the kitchen while listening to 1990s music because what better way to celebrate turning 40 than to play what was popular when you were a teen? Note: the sounds of Ace of Base have not aged well. But Jewel has!).
— watching, photographing, and generally paying attention to the crazy adventure that is motherhood. (By the end of this decade, the kids will be 12, 16, and 18 and we will be preparing to send A to college — assuming colleges are still a thing.)
— this blog 🙂 can you imagine my future dispatches from 2054? “Well everyone, it’s my 50th blog-o-versary! I will be sending everyone who has been reading since 2004 a gift card for a free space journey!”
. . . are not terribly exciting. No Michelin star restaurant (though Josh is determined to cook something “fancy!”). No massage (sad). Instead there will be:
— The usual Autumn Calabrese (today = Cardio Core). (Happy news – my shoulder has made it through the last 2 workouts without complaint!)
— Help with school / outside time
— Read & organize (I have to catch up on 3 days of Organize365! Should be doable though.)
— Work on blog & podcast (yes this is fun for me and worthy of birthday free time!)
— Maybe take kids in pool if weather cooperates
— “Fancy dinner”
— Bed by ~9:30 or thereabouts #thisis40