On the positive side: G is better! After a rough night, she was completely fine alllllll day yesterday. Thus far, there does not seem to be spread beyond the two of us. So that is good.
On the negative side: OMG, I am feeling so blah. I woke up this morning to my alarm and just . . . did not want to start the day. I eventually forced myself up with the promise of wordle (yes really).
Things I am stressed about
C’s video game truck party; it’s THIS SUNDAY all the sudden I realized I need to figure out tables/some kind of outdoor seating AND I need to clean a bathroom in our new house (we decided to have the truck park there b/c we could have neighbor kids over that way AND there is more space on that street). I am determined to host A’s party at a location where I don’t have to do anything.
Moving and various (#$%(#&$ that goes with that, including finances.
Work. Yesterday had some bright spots, but I found myself getting frustrated quite often. A lot of unease and annoyance mixed with interactions that felt good. I really love part of my clinical job, and I have another lovely resident that was truly fun to work with. I think truly it’s largely a volume/overwhelm issue. Every time I answered an email or patient message about 10 more seemed to appear in its place.
Fitness. I recognize this is dumb, but I have barely worked out in 2.5 weeks and I am dreading restarting and feeling out of shape and sore (#thisis41). I also know that not working out is probably part of why I am in such a mood.
Travel. Part of me wants to table our April spring break trip (maybe we could take that week to move + set up the new house instead . . . ). We had planned on DC but everything just seems complicated.
I am working on finding a therapist. I know the above has elements that sound like depression, and honestly I do feel that way today. I have had similar issues in the past (previously around fertility/TTC and also PMDD, which is much much better now thanks to OCPs).
I really want to enjoy this part of my life. It’s very full and objectively very good, and honestly I am normally a fairly happy person at baseline. So hopefully I can start feeling that way again.