I was reading this click-baity Vox article yesterday and noted to Josh that perhaps I am having a midlife crisis.
Crisis probably the wrong word though, because it doesn’t feel particularly bad. Just a bit intense. Midlife awakening perhaps?
Lately I have just been feeling . . . more sure of what I want out of life. I think this is one reason I love planning and reflecting so much — it is one way to protect again what Gretchen Rubin calls drift, or what some might describe as autopilot or sleepwalking through life.
Things I Know I Want
A loving, fun, and lasting marriage. Josh and I met nearly 20 years ago, and our relationship is honestly the most important thing to me when I really think about my priorities and what I value.
Close and loving relationships with A, C, and G, plus confidence that I am giving them what they need (tangibles yes but mostly I’m talking about the intangible things) both now as they are growing up and beyond.
A body that feels good and comfortable to live in, for as long as possible.
A job that is fun and engaging, helps provide for our family, and where I feel I am also contributing to making the world (or even just some people’s lives) better in some way
To spend some time appreciating and enjoying the amazing things this world has to offer. Some travel to interesting and beautiful places. Some great books, movies, and shows. A few amazing live performances.
To spend some time with family and friends, from family that live locally to friends who are far-flung. To have deep catch-up sessions with old friends, and daily texts with my sister + parents.
Things I Have Control Over
The energy and intention I put into my relationships.
Making plans to do the things mentioned above — true that they might not come to fruition, but they are MORE likely to if I put things on my calendar, from vacations to reunions to family get-togethers. Sometimes this means making the plans; other times it just means saying yes.
The direction of my career. Most of us have more than one thing we can offer the world; I am no exception.
The care I give my body — from giving it mostly healthy foods to my commitment to moving it daily in ways that seem to help it to thrive.
The ways in which I can choose to give back to the world, from my actions at work to those beyond.
Things I Don’t Have Control Over
The stock market. (And the real estate market. And all other markets, from gold to crypto).
Weather disasters and climate change.
Basically everything else.
Anyway, yes. I am turning 42 in a few days and this is where my mind is.