I had hard day yesterday.
It was a clinical day, and there were a couple of down moments. I started to spiral a bit but then:
- I had a few positive encounters and remembered that even if I may not be everyone’s favorite, I have quite a few very positive relationships with patients + families
- I reflected on the fact that even if every encounter does not feel meaningful, some are. If I make a positive difference in the lives of 1/10 people I see, that still counts for something.
- I am not obligated to please everyone! In fact, if I aimed to do that 100% of the time, I would probably be miserable, and what good would come from that!? I am allowed to set boundaries and in fact, I should.
- My physician role is a job (within a career) and only one part of my life. And it’s a reasonably rewarding one (tangible + otherwise, see above), so when I am not dancing around the office all day it’s still not the worst thing I could be doing with those hours.
(Yes, I consider my physician role a job and not a calling or my defining feature. It is a job with high levels of responsibility that demands a significant amount of care and attention, but it is still a job. This is probably not shocking to anyone here, as this blog is not called Dr Sarah Hart-Unger MD, is it? To be fair, no website is going to truly capture everything about a person either, but . . . it comes closer.)
I practiced decent coping skills.
Sometimes when I have days like that I turn to:
- eating garbage (ie: ice cream instead of actual dinner)
- being unpleasant at home
I am happy that instead I thought through things more logically, did a bit of journaling, and went about my usual activities. I actively decided that wallowing would give my work experiences a higher level of importance than they deserved in this context. Josh got home late anyway so the only ones to be unpleasant to would have been our nanny + the kids; I’m sure they appreciated that I was not terribly surly.
TODAY is a BLPA day (Session 5, Monthly & Seasonal – super excited for this one!) and I had a great run and even a bizarrely early nap. Also on today’s docket:
- WORK ON 2023 BOOKS LIST!!!!!!
- Take C to soccer eval + pick up his glasses
- Work on tax stuff (there had to be one truly un-fun item on this list)
- Work on planning live retreat details!!
On that note — dates will be November 2-4 and location is Fort Lauderdale! If you didn’t see the newsletter link but are interested in attending, you can add yourself to the list here. Please only complete this if you genuinely will consider coming this round (ie, those specific dates + location work) – trying to get a ballpark idea of numbers though this does not commit you in any way!
This retreat will not be the same as Best Laid Plans Academy but instead an interactive experience to help you relax, reset, connect and plan the upcoming months + year ahead. The principles will definitely be used, but instead of focusing on teaching the general methods, you’ll be diving in to do your own personal planning + reflection. There will be a new BLPA Live-specific workbook, some lovely planning-related tools, and lots of guidance — plus protected time, a key ingredient missing in most of our lives — to let you really dive into your dreams for the future.
(Basically I am planning the retreat I myself want to take!!!!)
On an extremely unrelated note, I bought some shoes
On the recent BOBW allowance episode I admit that when I have funds available to use ‘for fun’ I have no problem plowing through them immediately. It’s March 2nd and I have spent ~75% of my fun money on my running coach + running shoes. Ha! In my defense, my shoes had >400 miles and the LAST thing I want to do is get injured!
I bought a (deeply discounted) pair of the same old model of ASICS Gel Nimbus on Amazon (the 23 – and they are up to 25), and ordered a pair of (less cheap but still not terrible) Hoka Clifton 8s to try because I want something super cushy and supportive for longer runs and also because I feel like varying the drop height and shoe might keep my tendons happier (traditionally my weak spot – Achilles + psoas tendinitis were issues way in my past when I used to run high mileage). We will see! I have zero pain or injury signs currently but since I want to spend the summer building/maintaining higher mileage I know I need to be careful.