Apparently my own advice works.
(Also, many of you had wise words + ideas! I particularly appreciate the reminder that it’s okay to go to bed before the kids sometimes. I don’t want to do that every night, but every night does not have to be the same, either. And so much solidarity in the comments, too. Thank you, thank you, thank you!)
I slept 9 hours last night (no run this morning and possibly not at all this day, TBD) and filled in an Ideal Week. I feel a bit hesitant posting these quasi-intimate details on the internet, but whatever. It’s not like it includes everything and it definitely isn’t my actual schedule – just a scaffold for what things could look like during an Ideal week. Most weeks aren’t ideal, anyway.
Then I sent it to a world famous time management expert who happens to be my good friend (thank you Laura!) and she had some additional ideas, such as extending Thursday’s afternoon work session, perhaps even taking One Night for Me that night. I love that idea, and could imagine fitting in either a strength class or a writing session somewhere away from the house, and then picking A up from gymnastics on the way home.
This theoretical schedule allows for at least 7 hours of sleep each night, which is what I have been getting for years and generally works well. Josh is going to do his Ideal Week with me over the weekend, which I’m excited about! Because then we can make sure everything fits together and I want to be sure that he also has time to run, sleep enough, etc.
One thing I will have to work on/investigate is the post-late-activities-going-to-bed routine. My suspicion is that this took way longer than it needed to this week, and in time we can get to be ~30-45 minutes from arriving home to BED for both of us (she needs the sleep too!). I also need to take at least a couple of nights to just GO TO BED (Mon, Weds) even if everyone is not home.
Is there time for EVERYTHING? Not really. But I think I will be able to get into a rhythm that feels far more functional than what we started with.
ALSO acknowledging that I am still in major catchup mode. It makes total sense that everything felt really tough this week. ONWARD!!
PS: If you subscribe to my newsletter, you have a copy of the ideal week template I used, but if not, here it is – as a thank you to all of you who read + commented!!
14 Comments
Hooray for 9 hours of sleep and an ideal week filled out! Looks great and inspires me to fill out my own. My kids are young so no late activities, but I have them solo both weekend days every week so I have my own challenges with making sure everyone gets what they need to be happy, functioning humans every week. Anyway, happy to hear you are feeling better about Q4!
That ideal week is so visually pleasing! I am glad you figured out some adjustment to make so you can get more sleep. I am sure the bedtime routine will improve once you’ve established a routine. That always takes time!
One thing to consider is where you have magin to catch up on sleep – unless you are a unicorn who regularly falls and stays asleep easily 🙂 I know for me, it would be unrealistic to be asleep within 30 min of driving a kid around. I say this because I have a similar hard landscape, and trouble falling asleep on Sunday throws off the week. I know what days I can start/end work later to catch up (not always the same each week).
What Brook said. I need at least an hour to unwind before I can go to sleep when I get home. And, given I have insomnia 1 to 2 nights a week I try to spend at least 9h actually in bed each night (I know, for a dr this is sacrilege). But I sometimes wake up at 5 without an alarm. Ps this schedule still looks insane to me, but you do you.
I totally get it!!! This would not be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok 🙂 I am not usually prone to insomnia unless I am stressed out about something specific, so I have that going for me (recognizing that could change!).
I hope it doesn’t change! I actually love this ideal week plan and am thinking about doing one of these myself and I do think it would be a helpful exercise. I do have some concerns though… 1) inconsistent ends to OR days (anywhere from 3-6 on a “regular” day and 5-9 on a “late” day), 2) how to use my post call days — if I don’t get very much sleep the idea of making this productive time makes me want to cry. My whole body hurts and it’s hard to move. If I do get some sleep I feel guilty about not getting “enough” done or alternatively not enjoying my bonus day “enough.” None of this can be planned in advance. 3) when I am non-clinical, the first day my brain doesn’t really work and I can’t get deep work done. 4) pop up meetings and lectures, often at 630 in the morning given to residents who clearly don’t want to be there, which destroy my ability to work out or sleep enough before work and which leave me wanting to take a nap after, 5) clinical day begins at 645. Thankfully my commute is only 10 min. 6) I need 8.5 hours of sleep each night and if I am at work late or overnight it takes me 3-7 days to recover, at which point the cycle repeats. So. Reading this makes me feel like I’m screwed, but maybe it’s worth a try anyway.
ooh I think it is worth doing, either way. I would be so livid about a pop up 6:30 meeting or lecture. I feel like there needs to be significant notice for that kind of thing or it’s really unfair!!
Even though you may not be able to predict which day you will have in advance, it does seem like you have a handle on the types of days out there…what if, instead of an ideal week, you mapped out ideal days based on what you described here? Like one post-call day for when you are exhausted and haven’t slept enough, and another for post-call when you DO feel rested. One for the non-clinical first day being brain foggy. Just thinking through your options in each scenario might help?
Your blog is the first place I have heard of the Ideal Week idea, and I think Ben, Jack, and I are going to each do one of these and then discuss together– such a great idea as we approach our busy season.
Yes!! Planning on doing this with A and C this weekend with slightly less detail but same idea. I think it will be really helpful for them.
I knew you would figure it out! : )
This reminds me of the “Atomic Habits” idea of “implementation intention”, writing out what happens when makes it much more likely that it will happen. I love that you charted out your ideal week and will see how you can make it all fit.
Sarah, the part about this post that made me happiest is the title! Feeling a bit better — SO glad to hear it. (And also so glad you found everyone’s comments helpful.) I LOVE the idea that your days will have varying bedtimes/rising times. This is genius for this season of life. Plus, if you are willing to shift some of your non-medical work to weekend…you really could add a nap to work from home days to boost week day sleep. It’s all possible! Really excited for you 🙂
Just observing your days are so full!
At the moment I have only one kid (almost 13!) doing two activities (theater, for which we do not yet have a schedule; and soccer, which will be two evenings per week), which similarly run up against bedtime (8/8:30 end time). It’s a major issue, both for the kid settling down and therefore me. Kind of dreading that start up again.
As lifelong insomniac, I’ve been tracking my sleep with a fitbit for the past year; I’ve cycled through med changes and some household issues (i.e. my 20-y-o cooking in the middle of the night!) but what’s been clear is that I very much average 7.5-7.75 hrs of actual sleep per night. To get that I am in bed “sleeping” generally for 8.5-9 hours. I obsess about sleep…..but are you actually getting enough?
Looking forward to your updates about all this…