(A New Hampshire Postmortem!)
We spent last week in New Hampshire. I felt SO GOOD going into this trip about our plans – better than usual, really! And the trip was good. It wasn’t awesome. So, it seems like it might be helpful to review what worked and what didn’t.
HERE WE GO! We will divide this into . . . struggles and triumphs.
STRUGGLES
The kids were TOUGH in the car. There were multiple longer drives on this trip (3 hrs from Boston to NH each way, and then ~30-60 min drives to hikes/various sites). We decided not to let them use iPads in the car because historically, letting them use iPads in the car leads to really hyper/frustrating behavior struggles later in the day. And we thought – hey, it will be scenic!
They had books packed, but we did not really give them anything else specific to do. (We are not new to parenting and yet this seems like a a rookie error. It was more just . . . possibly . . . laziness.) Sometimes they did read, but mostly they chose not to; instead, they just picked fights and drove each other crazy (note: this happened more in one specific sibling dynamic, but to protect identities here I’ll leave it vague!). I do wonder if the right kid-centric podcast or audiobook could have saved us and would do things differently next time.
Sleeping situation. We stayed in a suite with 1 BR that had a king, 1 that had a queen, and 1 sofa bed in the room between them. For various reasons (and after a lot of argument/negotiating), A and I ended up in the king, G slept alone, and J/C in the queen. It wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t the best. (It did allow A and I to watch a lot of Ginny & Georgia, which was kind of fun). I know the obvious suggestion would be to use an Airbnb/VRBO next time — but I was scared away by some previous meh experiences (dirty dishes that were put away, questionably clean sheets/blankets . . .). Maybe I’m willing to try again with the right host.
Our hotel was ‘meh’. I am a hotel person. I really really get a lot of joy out of staying at a nice place. Our hotel was absolutely adequate. It just sparked zero joy. That said, I travel enough that having meh hotels sometimes is probably just . . .math, especially when housing 5 people. But still: noted. I am going to concentrate future travel hacking efforts (well, if I ever decide to put in much effort) towards hotel points.
Too much of the same food. The food was good! We were impressed with the value. But mostly we ate American/brewery type stuff. We all kind of got sick of it. Next time I would plan in some different things for variety (there was a cute Thai place, or I could have just cooked something simple at the hotel another night and we could have just gone for ice cream).
Really kind of missed my morning routine. I decided not to work out. But by doing that it meant I decided I wasn’t going to wake up early, and with our sleeping situation (G in the main room) there was no real way I could hang out anywhere and not disturb anyone. Josh went to run and I probably should have snuck out to the lobby for some early coffee/alone time and then done a brief workout (even like, 20 min yoga or something) at the gym because I think it would have just felt nice.
PMS. BAHAHAH not like I can actually plan around this, but it was annoying! And another reason working out lightly may have helped mood-wise.
We got sick! Also . . not like I could do anything about that, either. But Josh was sick for half the trip and I started to feel bad at the end (all better now!). Frustrating and just did not help matters.
TRIUMPHS
Sunday to Saturday time frame (and my non-clinical Mondays). LOVED this!!! We were so thrilled to have an extra day to prep for the week upon arriving home, and I was equally thrilled that I didn’t have patients the very first weekday back (I’m in the office seeing pts Tuesday / Thursday / Friday this year, and I would say it’s my favorite combo of days yet!).
I also really liked the trip length. I was REALLY ready to be done by the end (though this may have had a lot to do with getting sick!).
Time frame & location of trip. When you live in FL, going somewhere cool in the summer months is amazing, and the NH weather did not disappoint! I loved wearing a jacket. There were a few black flies but we used bug spray and were largely spared. It wasn’t crowded, even places that warned of lots filling up by 8 am. I HIGHLY recommend this time frame (as long as you would be happy and not disappointed with cool weather – some days were only highs in 60s!).
I also really liked heading out right after school ended (though A missed the first week of summer gym training and in retrospect that may not have been ideal – a couple of new girls just joined and I know it can be harder to feel like you missed the beginning of something vs the middle).
Getting proactively ahead of work prior to trip. I did a really good job with this! I felt relatively on top of things and not stressed out by anything work related. Big win, as was . . .
Not working on the trip! YESSS. More trips like this, please!!!
Reading + TV. I loved reading Julie Chan is Dead on the way there (and finished it while there) and Rabbit Moon on the way back! Juicy and propulsive reads are great for plane rides. I also enjoyed a bunch of Ginny & Georgia AND all of Four Seasons, plus caught up on Murderbot. (Kind of . . . into TV lately!)
Date night dinner. New tradition I hope! The kids didn’t mind (we let them use iPads so they were happy, and A is very responsible) and it was fun to get away for one night. Definitely hope to continue this.
Short hikes + biking. I do have some rhythm issues (bigemy mostly for the cardiology enthusiasts) that worsen with exertion, so I noted them with a little bit of increased frequency hiking/biking. But nothing extreme happened and honestly I have these same issues at home even doing strength or walking up stairs (my cardiology providers are aware). It was comforting to know I didn’t feel specifically limited on vacation by my heart stuff. I was more limited by the patience of the kids!
Value / cost-effectiveness. Compared to say, skiing at Big Sky or an Alaska Disney cruise, this trip was a veritable BARGAIN (like, probably 1/4 or less of the cost — though I haven’t done a formal YNAB calculation). Last calendar year (2024), we went to Montana to ski twice and that was . . . a lot of $ spent on travel. We spent a week over the summer in Seattle/Olympic National Park, and those Olivia Rodrigo tix weren’t cheap, either! I really do value travel and have no regrets about money going in that direction, BUT realistically for us it makes sense to do just one super splurgy trip most years, or maybe one spendy and one moderate, not like, 3 blowouts.
(PS, this is ALLLLL relative, I know. What is budget or “moderate” to one family could be entirely outlandish to another.)
For me, the only ‘compromise’ was the hotel. I think maybe we could have gone up one notch and still had it be fairly reasonable, but also – it was fine (and I think I’m the only one who cares about the hotel!). I think the trip overall had everything in it I would want — just with some of the tweaks to consider above.
Do you do a post-travel postmortem?
Anything big you have changed about your travel?
36 Comments
I’m glad you had a long list of things that worked for this trip. We love airbnbs and have never had a bad experience so that might be something to give another chance. That said I don’t need cushy hotel accommodations. I often stay at a residence inns because I like having a roomier accommodation and an easy free breakfast (even though work pays for all meals, I am a happy to just have a bowl of oatmeal and yogurt every day). Will and I will stay in one next week in Chicago. But that will be Will’s first night in a hotel room as we always stay at Airbnbs with a bedroom for the adults and a bedroom for the kids (they will happily sleep in twin beds). I like having the common room area free after the kids are in bed to play cards, etc. Our kids are early risers so are usually among the first people up. And that way we can eat some meals in as I get super burned out on eating out!
We do a sort of post mortem after trips mostly about the area, timing of the trip, etc. Most of our trips have been great but the Destin one was not due to the weather so we decided we would not go back there in April as it’s just not warm enough yet it seems. But we have only done family trips to AZ and FL so have not had complicated itineraries. Our kids are still a few years off from being ready for that!
We tend to do Airbnbs or house swaps, and have had 95% good experiences. But I get tired of eating out / the close quarters of a hotel, even with a much smaller family.
I definitely like to think through/talk with my husband and kids after a trip to get a sense of what worked/what didn’t (although my husband and kids also tell me, the trip planner, frequently throughout the trip what is and is not working :)). We just returned from 10 days in Costa Rica, in large part using Kae’s awesome itinerary for inspiration. It was truly an epic trip so I am happy to report that for the most part I am thinking through things like “how can we repeat this particular awesome aspect of the trip elsewhere?” But the “did not work” for us this time were mainly two things: 1) kid fighting (kids are 11 and 12) and 2) I am beginning to accept that our family of four doesn’t do well in one hotel room anymore, particularly for a longer trip (this portion of the trip was 5 nights). #1 is definitely related to #2, and during the second half of our trip we were at an Airbnb where we were able to spread out a lot more, reducing kid fighting (and also making my husband and me very happy that we got to start each morning on our balcony looking at the Pacific Ocean and drinking coffee while kids slept)! But the first half we were all in one room (two queens, one of which was me and my husband, the other was my daughter, and a trundle bed for my son). In addition to looking for suites or Airbnbs for future trips of several night stays, one other thing I’m hoping to implement for future trips is to try to build in some 1-on-1 time or other combos besides the four of us being together all the time. A couple times on this trip our 12 year old wasn’t hungry for dinner and opted to stay in the room while we went out with our 11 year old, and she definitely enjoyed the break. There are probably ways we can sometimes split up like that for short periods of time which I think will be especially crucial as we are in a phase of life/kid ages where we’re moving towards doing longer vacations–10 days or 2 weeks instead of 1 week.
Your date night idea is genius and my kids are totally old enough to eat pizza in the room while we do that–I’m stealing it!
We have taken our “big” vacation the last three years during the first week or 10 days after school is out and I truly love it (Yellowstone, then the Utah 5 national parks, then Costa Rica). I would like to keep doing it, although will need to adjust for some potential trips. For example, we want to go to Glacier National Park but you can’t fully do Glacier until early July, usually, because Going to the Sun Road may be closed up until then. But otherwise we will stick to this routine. I think it’s great for weather reasons you mention as well as crowds–places like northern New England and Yellowstone National Park are not super busy yet for the season, the hiking weather is glorious, etc. I think you guys would love Yellowstone by the way–it meets your weather requirements and your “short hike” requirements. There are sooo many great short trails and boardwalk trails around the geothermal features, and so much diversity of things to do and fun wildlife. I know it’s quite near Big Sky where you go in winter, but I think you’d love that area in summer too 🙂
Kid fighting is such a buzzkill (and I rarely see it mentioned in travel recaps). Definitely impacted our trip. Solidarity!!!! ❤️❤️
And I want to do Yellowstone!!! We actually may add on during winter doing a snowmobile
Type trip … it’s like a day trip from Bozeman!
Oh yes, doing a day trip to do snowmobiling and see bison and geysers would be fantastic! There’s definitely more to do in the summer at Yellowstone, BUT if you’re going to be out there for skiing anyway probably easier to add on as a winter day trip!
Team AirBnB! We almost never stay in hotels unless we just need 1 night. I love having a kitchen for breakfast so we don’t need to go out for every meal (and we often do takeout for dinner with the kids).
I never do an itinerary. We have a list of things we’d like to see, and we wake up in the morning and decide which things on the list match the weather/our mood/energy. If there’s something we absolutely want to do, we’ll buy tickets ahead of time but otherwise play it by ear. Very rarely we miss out on things, but most of the time things work out. I don’t like feeling like I “have” to do anything on vacation, so this mode of operation works for us.
I do like to consider what went well and what didn’t on a trip. I planned a recent trip where we went to two different places and the second one was more relaxed and had more luxurious accommodations. Afterwards I realized that was the correct order that we lucked into. That if we are doing two different places with different levels of activity it’s best to plan more relaxation at a nicer place for the end.
I’ve experienced some icky Airbnbs so you’re not alone on that! My personal preference is to look for properties that do not allow pets. Plus I love staying in a hotel room that gets freshened up while we’re out exploring each day!
From a fellow Southerner, weather in the 60s sounds glorious. We’re big Disney people and tried to do a beach trip instead this year but just couldn’t get excited about being hot somewhere that wasn’t Disney. So we’ll be back there in July but maybe next year we’ll consider something like this instead! It would be a nice “save” trip after a splurge! I also think MISSING TAYLOR was totally worth a second mention in your struggles!
Omg I just saw some video footage today from our diabetes educator that was in one of the rooms when Taylor had a full on convo with a patient and it was thrilling!!!
I think I might like the planning, anticipation, and aftermath review even better than the trip itself. If I’m solo, the right answer is usually Airbnb, and if it’s a family trip, the right answer is usually a hotel. When the boys were little, it made sense for the four of us to bunk up in one hotel room, and now it makes sense for us to get two rooms. The 2x price is totally worth it.
My best kids in the car story is that there was a two year stretch where we had it made with listening to old radio serials. The episodes were between 10-15 minutes long and there was a cliffhanger at the end of every episode, which meant that all four of us were absolutely engaged and transfixed. But we had more than our share of non-radio serial listening car trips with screens and meltdowns as well.
For anyone considering coming to NH, there is the Manchester airport—it’s my home airport so I am more than a little partial to it, but it will save you at least an hour (more if there’s traffic) and you won’t have to drive through/near Boston (ew, no thank you). A bonus for the way home is that the security lines are generally very short and the TSA people are the nicest ones I have ever met.
I love the idea of a trip postmortem!
I would have loved to fly there but couldn’t find a direct from our area (and the past two trips I took a layover I ended up stranded midway for a long time so really was trying to avoid that!)
I know, we often have this issue too! We don’t do a ton of air travel at the moment, but with two small kids I always opt for direct flights!
I didn’t think of this until today, but a nice hotel in that area that I would recommend is the Mount Washington Omni in Bretton Woods. It’s a historic hotel with lots of nice details and the food is great—I was there for a conference recently. It is also close to great skiing if you’re looking for an alternative to Big Sky.
I priced it out and was sooo tempted but it was farther from a lot of things and twice the price. In retrospect I may have loved it. Ahh well!
Glad so much of it was great and agree on the Sun-Sat schedule, it is the BEST.
The sleeping arrangements (kids in separate beds, adults in a separate room) and ability to be awake and do things without waking up the kids is so key on vacation. Especially when our kids were younger, it was a make it or break it detail that was worth whatever extra $$ even when it meant we made all our food at the rental house. A hotel has never worked for us as a family of five unless it’s for a night or two, but the housekeeping and amenities are nice!
For the car rides, we’ve gotten way into audio books. On our last National Park trip we finished Harry Potter book 6 and it’s taken years to get there. It’s nice to have something that keeps everyone somewhat “busy,” but that we can all share, and that lets them look out the window and zone out as needed. We actually really need another one when HP is done, though book 7 will probably take another two years…
We own a weekend home about 2.5 hours away which we are often driving to with our 3 and 4 year old – we also do not allow a tablet and the kids are pretty whiney/fight – on a good day they sleep (esp if we leave after bedtime). I definitely thought this would naturally get better as they get older but I’m realizing this may not be the case!!! Gah!
Re: not dealing with crowds – you had a GREAT week to be up here! Schools around here (I’m halfway between Boston and NH border) are wrapping up/have wrapped up this week through most of MA and NH. And bc of snow days the last day of school isn’t clear until about April. And if there were a few snow days (not this year!) schools would have been going through this week maybe into next. Things get really busy leading up to July 4th but before that it’s not too crazy
A big upgrade for us when the kids got a bit older (like 2/3.5) was being able to get one hotel room with two queen beds. We each snuggle a kid and just all go to bed at the same time. It’s sweet, we get a lot of sleep, and it makes logistics so much easier
It sounds like a fun and memorable trip. Thanks for the post-mortem, this helps fellow moms like me prepare for similar trips. For car trips, I highly recommend Yoto Minis. These are audio only players that kids as young as 3 can operate themselves. They are screen free (similar to a walkman actually– there are card with songs and stories). They might have a more sophisticated version for older kids. They typically keep my 3 and 5 year old entertained for up two 2 hours with minimal “Mom!”s.
We do a lot of road trips and i highly recommend the game Shotgun. It’s cards with trivia (Name the capital of the dState we are in), eye spy type challenges (first one to see a cow gets a point), questions to answer (ie. lose one point if you’ve ever gotten a speeding ticket), etc. our family finds it very entertaining. Maybe not three hours entertaining, but at least 30-45 mins entertaining.
Also playing Cows and Cemetaries gets us pretty far too. There was a whole thread last year on Go Fug Yourself about road trip car games that is golden.
I like to reflect after each trip as well as it helps to realize what we value and what we don’t care too much. Lodging is something we do care as we like to stay in to wind down and having two kids is not easy to find own space. So either we find airbnb for separate sleeping rooms or we need two hotel rooms. I noticed that when we don’t stay comfortably, it compromises our overall travel experience so now I am okay to spend more in lodging. we don’t care too much about food and happy to use public transportation so that’s where I would save, considering security as upmost factor.
That sounds useful to reflect on what worked and didn’t. We normally leave as soon as school gets out – but realised that the 2 weeks before school starts is a camp desert so this week, we have 2 weeks at home, and then T and I head to my parents, and meet up in Norway. We get back 2 days before school starts – which I suspect will feel a bit hectic, but maybe ok?
My job for the next few weeks (school finishes Thursday) is to make sure I have all the school uniforms ready and in a basket, backpack and shoes washed, etc. Everything from this year is in tatters, so I’ve slowly been grabbing things when I see them on Vinted/the school uniform store. We don’t get the big lists of supplies though – just need to send them with a pencil case, and weirdly Crocs?
Glad you enjoyed your trip. My kids are much older, so everything you described is how I remember vacations at that age/stage – especially the sleeping configurations! I’m with you on enjoying a nice hotel or Airbnb (even if you don’t spend much time there). Vacations are for togetherness but I need pockets of downtime and solo time to recharge. If you go back lmk and I will scout out accommodations and restaurants for you. And so happy you had such a clear day to see Mt. Washington views!!
AirBnB all the way. I always read the reviews prior to booking and leave honest reviews afterwards.
Even for my trip to Russia, solo, I got a Russian version of an AirBnB in my city. My parents’ condo is small and there is already three people there. We took a road trip to OBX and did hotels and man, I missed having a living room for my morning reading and meditation.
We just did a long road trip and my kids are younger (2 and 5), so I packed a lot for them, but maybe some of the suggestions will work for your crew too! We made a trip playlist that everyone added songs to and played it on shuffle. Audiobooks helped a lot, as did a few podcasts. My older daughter used a notebook and sketchbook more than I thought she would.
Oh also–sticker books and paint by sticker–though maybe only would work for G.
There may have been stickers all over the car window (yes she’s 7 but tends towards . . . graffiti) but she probably would have played with it for a while!
This sounds like a great trip. I empathize with the decision not to exercise, and then feeling like that didn’t serve you well.
I also empathize with the meh hotel. I love a nice hotel! (And I get easily sketched out by Air B&B/VRBO, even though lots of people have great experiences.) We had a meh hotel on our last family trip and it reminded me that a good hotel is usually well worth the price. I think I have been spoiled because my husband loves to find boutique hotels that we can get for “free” with points, and that’s not always possible/practical for our needs.
Love this! I’ve always had good AirBnb experiences- but I do love hotels. There’s just something so clean and fresh about them. And they come and clean the room! But- with a family AirBnb probably makes more sense. We had such a rocky time on our Tampa trip last year, that I immediately made a list of things to do differently next time, including things like how many beds we needed, to “figure out dinner the last night before we start driving.” I think it’s definitely helpful.
I’m glad so many things did work out for you! Traveling with three kids, it’s never going to be flawless. And you had a couple glitches thrown in, like getting sick (ugh) that you couldn’t have foreseen.
I love having space to spread out, so we usually book AirBnBs. And yes, sometimes the dishes are not perfectly spotless, or the linens are cheap. We just plan on washing the dishes before we use them regardless of how clean they look because you never know! It can be a little pricey, but since a good part of my vacations involve me recharging and resting rather than being out and about all day long, I’ve found it to be worth it. I also usually bring breakfast and coffee with me so that my first day at a new place isn’t messed up by caffeine withdrawal or being hungry and not finding acceptable food.
I do think that finding a way to exercise a little on vacation is helpful, even if it is just yoga. Main downside to an AirBnb is the lack of a gym… so I’ve started bringing a light yoga mat with me that fits easily in my carryon.
And like Brooke, I tend to compile a list of things I might want to do on a trip and then decide the day of what serves me best. It seems to work pretty well relative to planning every minute for me. I am not someone who is happiest going full throttle at all times and “making the most of every minute,” so this serves me well. 🙂
I have a foldable yoga mat so could totally do this. And good point about dirty dishes not really being a deal breaker IF you rewash . . .
I REALLY like having a plan per day but generally just one (not packed days, just one “anchor”. When I try to pack the days it doesn’t work, no one wants to continue past the one activity. So I’ve generally just picked one!)
We’ve done a mix of hotel + AirBnBs. I definitely like having a bigger space, but each comes with pros and cons. We stayed in a hotel in Barcelona last year and it was amazing! The room was tiny (the bathroom was a decent size, though), but there was an amazing breakfast included and we were central.
Our most recent trip was to Paris and we lucked out with a HUGE apartment through AirBnB for an incredible price. Hotel rooms are notoriously small in Paris and I’m sure we would have needed two rooms.
For me the answer between hotel vs airbnb/vrbo is always… it depends. It depends on the location, the vibe, who is there (all of us + my parents? Just 4 of us? Just me and husband?), pricing/options/sizing (is it Europe where a standard hotel room is tiny?), etc. My biggest factors are typically the “vibe” and the location of lodging. For example, in a mountain destination, I want a place that feels “mountainy”. lol. Ideally with a mountain view, wood decor, etc. In a city, I want an awesome location with a hip vibe and ability to walk out and have cafes and bars on my doorstep, ideally a cool view from my window, etc. So I guess I am also a “hotel person”, but I don’t need a “luxury” hotel, per se- I just need certain things from lodging that tick my boxes and give me the right vibes and feel to my vacation. I’ve gotten pretty skilled I think at detecting the “vibe” from listings by this point (I also spend a lot of time looking at things nearby on Google maps, sometimes even do Google earth to “tour” the street) and only book places with tons of great reviews. (Obviously it’s never a guarantee, I suppose!). I also REALLY try to avoid a regular “2 queen hotel room” with the boys if I can at this point…. Like others, I like the extra space and really value being able to be awake, have tea etc in the morning while boys still sleeping. Here in Copenhagen the boys have a separate room and it’s been perfect. Having G in the common space probably was frustrating!! I feel you on that. Also, I think it’s always harder for a family of 5, too!
I remember you discussing your trips to the beach as a tween where you went to dinner with your friend alone… can you remind me which podcast this was? Thank you!
oh man – I don’t remember which episode it was! But I was ~13 years old or so, my friend was actually a year younger, and we headed to cape may with her family and basically were independent. It was awesome! We went to the beach by ourselves (walked), shopped around town and took ourselves out to dinner each night. It was glorious!