Checkity Check Check . . .
Kae and I were discussing the habit of “checking”, as in:
- your phone is sitting there
- you have no reason to check your email
- you do it anyway
I would absolutely identify myself as a born checker. As a kid, I loved checking the (snail) mail. As an adult, I still love checking the (snail) mail, but there are also so many other things to check! And this is coming from someone who uses zero social media. WHAT do I check?
- texts (I have a lot of convos on “hide alerts”)
- my email
- blog comments
- randomly, the weather (especially in summer)
Honestly, that’s not that many things.
It could be a lot worse. It used to be a lot worse, in fact, when I used Instagram back in the day (I quit in 2021).
(Interestingly, though I still succumb to consuming utter trash on Reddit once in a while, it’s not an app that I typically ‘check’, it’s more of an all or nothing don’t-use-it-at-all or entirely-fall-into-the-scroll-hole situation).
AND, I still hate the way I interrupt myself with these things. It’s not morally wrong to check one’s email, don’t get me wrong. I just find it fragments my attention in an annoying and itchy way.
The things in the past that have helped me NOT check are:
- track them (like a little dot in my planner when I check)
- delay as long as possible (ie, try to make it until noon without doing it)
I tend to do this in little bits of time that feel too tiny for anything else, like between patients when I’ve already done all of my chart prep for the day / cleared out new results / etc. I guess one important question is: when I get the urge to check, what would make more sense to do instead?
I am NOT aiming for a purist stance of checking email twice a day or anything like that, but I also feel like every couple of hours is going to be sufficient.
Are you a checker?
Does it bother you?
If so, how did you stop?
Weekend Media:
Reading: Will likely finish this:
Listening to: PinkPantheress Fancy That (oh look, she’s selling a notebook and sticker sheets! Cute!). And, I feel like her songs are summer 2025’s answer to brat.
Watching: Time to finish Murderbot! Now Josh and I will need a new show (we started Stick though and liked it so maybe that). AND, I want to see F1 but given that G will be coming maybe we will see Elio.
Anyone have a hot summer read / watch to recommend?
16 Comments
Yep, I check! Actually it first came to my attention when I stopped running, and I found myself constantly picking up my phone with nothing to do on it. There was no run so no details to drill into on Garmin, Strava, and [other running app that I was obsessed with at the time and don’t remember what it was now]. I also didn’t need to check the weather 100 times a day so that I could monitor what it was going to be like on long run day.
I’m still pretty bad about checking everything non running related many times a day, and it’s all useless information. In my defense, I’ve disabled most notifications so at least it’s me going to my phone instead of my phone coming to me. But I could definitely stand to cool it on the constant checking, and honestly 99% of it is due to boredom and/or stress. Checking my phone doesn’t help with either of those issues.
I’ve got a hot summer read! I wasn’t expecting much from What Kind of Paradise by Janelle Brown. The premise is a daughter who lives with her dad in an isolated cabin in the woods who starts to figure out that something’s off. I don’t want to say anything more but that’s where the story starts and where it goes it just amazing. It’s so good that I almost don’t want to finish it.
GAHHH I have that from the lib but I have to return it tomorrow and didn’t get get to read it yet! I’ll just re-reserve!!!
Yes, What Kind of Paradise is quite propulsive! I loved it! I also just loved Run for the Hills which I think you’ve already read, Sarah. Another great one I read lately (but not a particularly “hot summer” read–it’s about infidelity and middle age :)) is Leaving which was a recommendation from Lisa last year.
I was just thinking abut this re: texts. I too have notifications off for a lot of convos, and I wonder if I’d check less if I just left them on (I’d still use DND when I need to for all notifications, of course.
I wouldn’t say I have a strong urge to check, most of the time- but there are times when I pick up my phone, check my texts, then kind of think “let’s see, what else can I check?” Then i’m checking my mail, the weather, whatever I can think of. There’s definitely something addictive about it. I don’t know what the answer is- I guess to be busy with other things? Easier said than done, when the phone is right there with us all the time.
Right now I’m reading Holly by Stephen King, and I probably would NOT recommend it! I’ll be talking about it on the blog soon- I’m enjoying it (for the most part- there are a couple things that annoy me) but it’s REALLY dark. Not a light, summer read.
I definitely check things often but also try to remember that all of these apps are designed to make us want to check more and more often, so it’s an uphill battle and it’s not our fault… sigh. The only things that seem to help me:
– Put my phone in another room
– With Reddit specifically, I blocked it on my iPhone. I can’t even remember how I did it now but it was not with an external app, just through iPhone settings, and it’s not a time limit — I can’t use it at all. It’s been great! I can still access it on my computer if I really need to look something up (example: yesterday I was researching neighborhoods to stay in for an upcoming trip and found a very helpful Reddit post/comments) but I was only endlessly scrolling Reddit on my phone previously.
Well as you know, yes, I am a checker. WAY TOO MUCH OF A CHECKER. To the point that this week I, in an exasperated sweeping motion, impulsively deleted all social media apps, GMAIL and even Feedly from my phone! I was disgusted by the number of “pickups” in my screen time and just was feeling like I had begun almost compulsively checking my email?! To the tune of, I’m not joking, I bet 50 times a day. 😳 On the first afternoon after I deleted my email from my phone (I did this about 1:30 pm), I didn’t check my email again then until around 8:30 pm, when I sat down at the sunroom desk with my laptop. I had only FIVE new emails (not counting garbage promotional) and none of them were even important (ie I literally just deleted them except one). It made me laugh, because I know I would have normally checked my email approximately 20 times between 1:30- 8:30 pm. and guess what… still would have been only those same 5 unimportant emails. (*I am referring to my personal email only. I can’t/don’t check work email on my phone- only in Outlook on my work computer. This issue only pertains to personal.) I know I’ll probably need to reinstall it eventually- sometimes esp on vacation or at kids sporting events I may need to reference something in an email- but for now, I’m taking a break. Going to just check my email 3x/ day, on my laptop only!
It is also ironic, because re: SNAIL mail, I am NOT a checker. I think this may be because I don’t want to have to sort/ deal with the things in the mail. (Literally, sometimes I’ll walk the dog in the afternoon after I know the mail already came, and I will walk right past the mailbox and be like, eh, Iván can get it when he gets home. lol.)
I just finished The Wedding People. Felt like it started slow (and I almost walked away) but then it got interesting and I’m glad I read it. I think you’ve already read this one though. My FAVORITE book to recommend is Yellowface. It’s a few years old but SO good – and I still think about the themes in that book on a regular basis. The rest of my recent books have been meh so I’m not a current good source of fun books.
Yes, I am a checker! I’ve muted many of my text and What’s app channels (the notifications were annoying). I find if I’m engrossed with something else, the urge to check goes down – it’s definitely a boredom thing for me.
Loved loved loved yellowface! Have you read any other RF Kuang’s books? My daughter enjoyed Poppy War and I’ve heard good things about Babel too…
I hated yellowface 🙈 but I get why people love it!!! Yes loved wedding ppl!! And Josh just read it and liked it a lot.
I also check my phone a lot – my phone tells me I have an average of 66 pickups per day, and when I pick up I tend to go to at least 2-3 apps to check (WhatsApp, email, news app). The only way I can stop it is to physically put my phone away in a drawer or another room. I do this if I’m reading, playing with the kids, or working, or watching something etc. But that doesn’t help in those little bits of time. I guess either having something high quality to read on your phone, or if not wanting to pick it up at all, that all that grows trees or whatever it is when you don’t pick up? Essentially it’s pretty hard to break such a reinforced habit!
Yes, I am a checker, too. For me, it comes from boredom, pure and simple. Or, a desire to tune the world out b/c it’s too much for whatever reason. I hate my phone and I wish I never got it.
A thought about “checking” for doctors in clinic and other highly scheduled professionals:
I “check” the most when I have little bits free time but I do not know how long it is going to be. The example that you gave, Sarah, of being in clinic and you have already prepped the chart for the next patient, but they are not yet in the room — you do not know if they are going to be in the room in 30 seconds or 10 minutes.
If I knew that I had 5 or 10 minutes, I might start a more meaty task like reading a urodynamic study or renal ultrasound, which requires real thought and attention, or at least reading a full NYT op ed.
But, for me, when I know there is a reasonable likelihood that my attention will be pulled away from the task at hand, I tend to pick ‘checky’ little tasks, not more substantive things.
I am, in fact, really tortured by these moments, because if you aggregated the mall and a full clinic today, it would be a lot of time! But I tend not to do anything useful due to the (accurate) concern of being interrupted.
The only guaranteed way to get my daughter to have a conversation with me lately is for me to put my phone in another room so I am not distracted by it. She will invariably emerge from her room and ask me a question I can only answer by looking it up on my phone. Lol. Jk. Sort of.
I am TOTALLY a checker. That is a great word for it. And yes, it bothers me, and I would like to cut down. No great ideas other than delay. My husband and I recently implemented a reward system for some various personal goals, and one of mine is cutting down screen time, so that might help too. Hope so!
Constantly checking…because I don’t want to miss anything! Maybe I have a text from a kid, my mom, an email from my sister, a tenant, a client, the school needs something, a friend has a question, Amazon is alerting me to packages at the door, husband can’t find something…all day every day… probably better to wait until my phone actually rings because then I know it’s truly urgent and everything else can wait, but I also hate picking up the phone after five hours and having like 20 things I need to respond to