When I started this li’l blogging project 22 years ago I probably did not anticipate writing about my 46th birthday . . . but here we are! Thus far, 46 feels better than I probably would have imagined from the 24 year old vantage point.
Truly, I am so glad to be here. Here in the world, here on this ancient OG blogging space, here in the current life stage and phase.
So far today, I have:
- dropped the kids at school
- gotten a lovely mani/pedi (matching for once, will spare you the foot pic!)
- enjoyed my free bday Starbucks! (Another cafe mocha – what can I say, it felt appropriately celebratory!)
- had my stitches taken out!
I have a little bit of work to do (one interview and some back-end course stuff) but have a mostly-free day to hang with the kids (A has a hair appt) and generally chill and reflect on life.
We are headed to Miraval soon so I will definitely get to milk this celebration further. (That trip is really for our 20th anniversary, but who’s to say we aren’t ALSO celebrating my birthday a little bit?)
I contemplated sharing 46 pieces of wisdom, but I definitely don’t have that many to impart just yet.
But, off of the top of my head, here are a few things I’ve learned particularly in the last decade:
- Just because you ordered it doesn’t mean you should keep it – hold every online shopping purchase up to the same standard you would in the store dressing room. If you don’t love it now you won’t love it ever.
- If you keep trying to do something and failing, you probably need some kind of expert to help you. It really does help!
- Wear your retainer. Also sunscreen. And a hat.
- Losing a hobby is sad but also not the end of the world. Luckily there are SO MANY OPTIONS for how we can choose to use our time on this earth!
- Heels are fun to wear BUT ONLY if they are comfortable. If they hurt when you try them on, don’t even think about taking them home.
- Treating each person with the assumption that we could be friends (we’re all humans, so there’s always SOME common ground!) is the best way to go through the world
- Taking the time to really LISTEN to your kids if they are repeatedly trying to ask for something is worth it. (That doesn’t mean every request ends in a yes, but it’s best to really understand the desires.)
- Fake (?toxic) positivity is going too far, but a reframe can still be helpful sometimes! I shared the cooler-and-rainier expected forecast for the Berkshires this weekend and Josh responded that we would embrace the hygge aspect! Kind of loved that perspective. (And hey, we will have plenty of heat and sun waiting for us back at home.)
- Always save the tickets to the Wallet app when that’s an option!
- Getting together with family over holidays is always worth it. (I’m excited to make this for Memorial Day!)
- For the most part, you have to plan your own fun. Waiting for someone else to do it (or for it to magically just . . . happen) is not advised.
Fave quotes from other wise people that I think about all the time:
- People are a good use of time (Laura)
- Every day counts! (Jenny)
Okay, thank you for indulging me in that little exercise! Please feel free to share your favorite little (or big) life adage below . . .
Onto my mid (late?) 40s!!
24 Comments
My favorite pieces of wisdom of late are:
1) It’s ok to do less
2) Self-care is a productivity/longevity hack
3) Don’t compete with other people over stupid shit
4) There is no award for the person who suffers most
5) Sleep as much you need.
6) If you can afford to go on a food tour in Italy, you can afford that GLP-1 when you get home. Which is to say, please eat the damn food and try enjoy yourself without guilt.
ha! love it. PLEASE eat all the amazing food in italy! what’s the point of going if you aren’t going to eat all of the gelato and pasta!?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! The Berkshires are going to be great. Bring a rain jacket and a fleece. It will be cool and delightful. 55 degrees is an ideal temperature.
Lol, I love your last bit of wisdom. So true.
Happy birthday, Sarah! I hope you have the best day! I really enjoyed your nuggets of wisdom.
A couple I life by:
Don’t waste time on things you don’t enjoy.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Experiences > Possesions
Every year is a gift.
PS. I love the Wallet App (and I think it’s underappreciated!) and I love the advice to treat each person with the assumption that we could be friends! That’s a great way to approach life/people.
Happy birthday!
My entire life philosophy can be summed up by the Desiderata (get ready for a huge cut and paste):
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Happy birthday!! Sounds like a great day with a fun celebration ahead. Happy anni too!
A few that come to mind for me that have been popular in my family and help me put things in perspective sometimes about the finitude of life and what really matters are:
-“We’re only passing through.” -> this one helps me zoom out and realize how tiny and small we really are, and that our lives and the problems that can consume us are really but a speck and split second in the span of the universe. Maybe some things aren’t as big of a deal as I think they are, big picture. 😉 I also find comfort in the image of “passing through”, almost like, I don’t know, we’re in a video game and it’s our turn in the game of life! Time to play! Better take advantage of the minutes we have.
– “This too shall pass.”
-“Don’t wish your life away.” (as in, don’t say, I can’t wait until xyz happens so I can be happier, or even wishing time to speed up to get to a fun event, etc. It goes fast enough!)
Happy birthday, Sarah!!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! These are good reflections, I like the listening to kids and people is good use our time!
Oh wisdom I’m learning still: going through life optimizing all the time to get to the end is not a good life.
Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful celebration and fun trip! I appreciated all the pearls of wisdom. My favorite quote is from my dad, “People are more important than things.” Here’s to a great year ahead!
Happy birthday! Great list, the wisdom I like these days is that gratitude is the antidote to discontent and nature and movement/ exercise bring joy. I liked a quote I heard from lady gaga (of all people) on a talk show, don’t remember the exact words but something about how nature is the pinnacle of beauty in life with all forms of art being a close second.
No sorry, helping others is the antidote to discontent.
I think both things can be (and are) true
Not at all. The gratitude approach is a guilt trip about being whiny. The only people it works on those who don’t feel that bad to begin with. This is why so many patients reject it as medical gaslighting.
Happy Birthday!!!!
Wisdom?? From me?? I love Nicole’s reminder “There will be a time after this.”
I also think often of Elizabeth Craft’s advice to not treat a gift like a burden… and to choose the bigger life. I think of the latter, especially, a lot!
Love the mani colour—it’s very fun!!!
Happy birthday!!! I like the weather reframe but I feel you on the weather this weekend, the forecast is absolutely dire. Memorial Day weekend here for the last 4-5 years has just been horrendous weather. Enjoy Miravelx , it is the perfect place to camp out and get cozy during a rainy weekend! Plenty to do.
Happy birthday! My husband is from Massachusetts (we live in the Midwest) and he constantly has to remind me it’s not really guaranteed summer weather till July 1 there! Yet I never learn and constantly complain if we visit the earlier than that and it’s cool and rainy/windy rather than being good swimming weather (our fave activity for Massachusetts—ponds or beach). But Miraval seems like a great place to embrace the coziness even if that’s the weather you get!
I’d echo Elizabeth that Gretchen and Elizabeth’s “Choose the bigger life” is on my mind a lot! Especially this last year with getting a second dog who has not been easy to adjust to our household but has also brought us so much joy, and connection with our tweens.
AW! Glad I made your birthday post. I like your advice to treat each person with the assumption that we could be friends. That’s definitely not my default- if anything, I tend to assume that everyone already has their own friends, they don’t need another one (i.e. me!) I think it’s a holdover from middle school and high school- those thought patterns are hard to break out of.
I do have a new life adage- DO NOT USE ERASABLE PENS IN YOUR PLANNER. Sheesh!!!!!!
Happy Birthday! Lots of great advice here, so I’ll offer something important I learned the hard way that is much less profound: Never spit your gum into toilet paper before using it for its intended purpose, lol.
Happiest of birthdays! A May birthday, like mine- I’m May 2.
A few sayings…
“All is well”
“You can’t take it with you”
“Not the hill I’m willing to die on”
“It’s just a job”
“Don’t sweat the small stuff”
thank you so much Daria! I love “not the hill I’m willing to die on”
Happy belated birthday!