I’m done with longer-term planning, everyone. I promise! I mean, for now (not forever). And especially in regards to travel.
We moved Big Sky to Feb, and I am holding it loosely even in that time frame. (I guess I could have left it entirely open-ended, but the lodge/room type we prefer tends to go quickly and I’d rather have the option of staying there if things work out, even if it means risking out deposit. It’s not a huge amount anyway.)
And other than that, nothing else is really planned! At least nothing that involves Josh or requires two walking driving parents.
It feels honestly freeing. I recognize that I was in a bit of an unhealthy spiral with all of that and now the churning waters of my brain seem to have gotten more still.
5 Recent Tiny Joys
(Elisabeth-inspired!)
1- A cute little book light. I can’t stand reading in dim light but there are many areas of our home where lighting is a bit sparse especially in the afternoon time frame. I can’t believe the solution was so simple.
2- Yoga with Adriene. I decided to throw in a morning flow this morning in lieu of strength training (4 sessions/week is enough for me and it was time for something chill!). This was perfect. I can see why Adriene is such a smashing success.
3- A vivid dream about residency. Okay stay with me: the dream itself was not pleasant though it was crazy vivid: I was starting a night of call on the general peds service as a senior resident. My co-resident was one of the other endocrinologists I work with! We were settling in for the night and reviewing the list and I thought to myself “Wow, I DO NOT want to do this — I can’t believe we work 30 hour shifts. This is terrible and inhumane. How will I get through the night?”
And then I woke up and was seriously SO HAPPY that it wasn’t real and that I never ever have to do that again (I mean, I haven’t for 16 years at this point, but I’m happy to let that distance continue to grow!)
(I think there is less of this type of this type of 30 hour call happening in general now, which in my opinion is a very good thing. The peds residents don’t do it at all at our institution.)
4- Music. Noah Kahan continues to hit the spot for me lately, and music in general is just a balm. I go straight to music immediately after Up First on my morning commute and it is quite calming. I still prefer podcasts during exercise (I like the distraction/entertainment!) but for driving lately I’ve just enjoyed singing along and not trying to really pay attention to anything.
5- I booked a massage for this weekend! A little attainable dose of anticipatory (and then experiential) joy for me. Yay.
BONUS:
Look what comes on Netflix tonight:
G and I are reading the books AND Caroline just visited a lot of historic Little House sites!
9 Comments
massage is under-rated! enjoy!
OMG! I was talking to someone about 30 hour call shifts recently and I could feel the dread in the pit of my stomach. My last 30 hour call was 14 years ago now.
We still do 24s where I work. We are “only” awake *all* night about 2-3 times per year, but awake til 2 or 3 (or 4… or 5… about 1/3-1/2 of the time. A 1.0 FTE takes about 30 calls per year, so you do the math. I think they need to abolish this… but we are told it is “too expensive.” HOWEVER, I get to stop taking call at 55 (unless they change the rules). I will never take a job where 24h call is required again. A few years ago they tried to tell us that our post-call day was our admin day and… I refuse.
One of the best parts of my illness and medical leave is that I haven’t had call at all since April. I am not looking forward to resuming that.
**Can you tell I found the discussion of call a wee bit triggering? Ha.**
I don’t blame you one bit. I think it’s all inhumane and entirely ridiculous. “Too expensive.” lovely . . . they had better not change the 55 rule!
I can’t wait to see what everyone thinks of the new show. I’m nervous about it, so I’m going to wait until everyone else vets it for me.
I listened to the audio book of Little House in the Big Woods and am going to continue the series. I can’t recommend it highly enough. I also can’t recommend going out to Mansfield, Missouri to visit the museum and tour her house. It was every bit as good as I thought it would be.
Omg I made the Choice to train at a call program and i was a shell of a person by the end of it. Any surprise I landed in ID?
Shift work also sucked because you could work 12-20 days on without a break, but nothing like call. My residency will never let go of it hahaha
Oh DV — SO MANY THINGS I would do differently in selecting a residency program! My program only gave 3 weeks of vacation per year! Barf! We also did 24h call, which eventually improved my final year (new PD knew how to use Excel to allocate staff more efficiently — eyeroll), such that we were only taking 20 or even *16* hour call. It was so much better! I personally found Nightfloat to be worse than 24h call, but that is because I have such trouble switching back to days after being on nights. I also think the extent to which our program glorified working til 6 or 7 PM (or 8) most days (“You will be a better dr.”) was total BS. So glad I never have to do that again.
I hope you like ID!! I know a few people who went into Pharma after doing a few attending years because the pay in ID is so bad. LMK if you ever consider it!
I’ve been reading Laura Ingalls books with my 8 year old over the past year; the exact copies I read as a child with my mom! Really looking forward to the show.
I went right to Amazon and put that book light in my cart. It looks perfect. I have a light for reading in bed, but it’s too bright and my husband complains about it. I’m getting this one! Also… I love Adriene. Her yoga for low back pain has helped me so, so much.
Glad you’re feeling more calm!