remember how i was all freaked out about the required procedures in this rotation? well, i’ve now gotten ‘signed off’ on nearly all of them, except for a Foley (urinary) catheter placement (and i did one — just didn’t get the form signed– oops!). the only other missing link is that i’ve only stitched up one laceration, and seriously — that one was a stretch.
i was attempting to close a very swollen finger (on my own! even though i DID warn the p.a. i was working with that the only stitches i had sewn were on a dead pig’s foot, he left me ALL ALONE in there) — and unfortunately this challenge proved too much for my simple interrupteds*.
basically, i had to be rescued and the two stitches i had managed to ram in there (although they were barely doing anything, because it was like trying to keep a crocodile’s mouth closed with scotch tape) were removed.
i really, really suck at stitching. i really wish it were not part of my job requirement. truth be told, i just have to get through the next 3 years without leaving anyone with a hideous scar, and it will be okay, because endocrinologists do NOT stitch. i have never been a decent seamstress. i cried in second grade because i could never get my cross-stitches to look right in cross-stitch club (yes, i was in a cross-stitch club. shut up, it was cool). i think it was when i first realized (and maybe others did too) that while i was gifted in some areas, spatial understanding ANYTHING was a severe weakness. things that made sense to others simply just didn’t gel in my head. i managed to figure out how to cross-stitch — i think some of my little creations may still live in my parent’s time-capsule of a house — but it was a pathetic learning curve. seriously, i sucked.
fast forward to middle school, where i had to make a stupid ugly pillow shaped like a stupid ugly ice cream cone. i remember choosing that pattern because it was supposed to be the easiest. that didn’t help — mine was disgusting. and i kept cutting myself on the sewing machine. that things had, like, JAWS or something.
and so — now i’m supposed to be sewing up PEOPLE? leaving permanent marks in people’s skin? i deeply feel for the patients that have to go under my knife. let them be few, far between, and not aspiring models of whatever body part i have to pierce.
* the official stitch of the ER, ’cause it’s the easiest.
PS: 4 ER shifts left!