breathe in, breathe out

December 3, 2009

why so tense?
for some reason, i’ve just been feeling . . . unsettled this week. i am antsy and anxious about research, annoyed and anxious about procedures and other residency-related things, and pessimistic and anxious about general life-plan stuff. YES, there is a common theme here.

and i can’t even explain why, really. perhaps it’s post-vacation blues, or being shoved back into routine only to find that it’s a different one than i had been used to. i feel like i’m sort of floundering around work-wise — partly because i don’t know what i’m doing, and partly because i just don’t feel like i’m in the groove yet. maybe it’s taper madness. or seasonal affective disorder. or hormones.

(as a future endocrinologist, i think that EVERYTHING somehow relates to hormones, in the end, anyway!).

whatever the cause, i am ready to fight back. hello, mindfulness? THIS IS WHEN I NEED YOU. today, i will think about:

▪ acknowledging the doubts and worries that are inevitably going to pop up from the inner reaches of my brain, without letting them prevent me from moving forward. i will just give them a nod and go on about my business.

▪ making realistic plans for each day so that i don’t feel overwhelmed right from the start

▪ really focusing on each task as i tackle it. breaks are wonderful and necessary, but continuous multitasking just isn’t a strategy that works for me. this means: GOODBYE desktop twitter ap (you were fun while you lasted) and WELCOME BACK media diet!

i hope (really hope) all this doesn’t make me sound too crazy. it’s likely that i’m not the only one suffering from idiopathic (and likely multifactorial) winter duldrums, but i still feel slightly self-conscious posting this sort of pep talk online. hopefully it will perk up someone else’s spirits as well — or at least be a voice of commiseration!

science geniuses!
thank you, siobhan, emily, and jenny for your incredibly helpful and insightful tips in the comments yesterday!

all 3 of you are role models to me in terms of doing amazing things in the lab while enjoying your lives, so your advice means so much to me. i am seriously considering printing out your words of wisdom to stick in the cover of my research notebook.

practicing what i preach type
off to tackle the day’s (manageable, appropriate) list!



workout: none. unfortunately, moodiness –> laziness + hibernation-type behavior –> more moodiness. time to break the cycle!

doin’ time: nah. and to jenny who commented on the small size of tuesday’s dinner: i woke up STARVING wednesday morning. it wasn’t quite enough for me, either! i think i needed more carbs.

intubations: 2! plus an IV! HOLLA!


  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    as my semester winds down i&#39ve been feeling totally unsettled and pretty aimless. but with that comes the anxiety about life. gahhh.

    but smart advice in your pep talk. you definitely could have been talking to me 🙂

  • Reply atilla March 10, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    hear about the patient that went to the psychiatrist complaining "I&#39m a Teepee, I&#39m a wigwam, I&#39m a teepee, I&#39m a wigwam."
    the shrink said "sit down you&#39re two tense (tents?)"

  • Reply Kath March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    I was saying "hormones" in my head before I read any further! I should be a doctor 😉

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