getting my head out of my uterus

living with a meandering mind
it’s official: i’m distracted.

even though i would much prefer to focus on the present moment, things seem fairly hopeless at this point. without any real provocation, my consciousness wanders from where i am / what i am supposed to be doing now [usually work] to “hmm, was that a contraction?” or “when i am i going to do XYZ?“.

at this point, i feel like i’m just fighting biology.

yes, you can buy ANYTHING on the internet.
however, reality is such that i can’t just give up the fight! i will be working until a baby comes out of me [the american way, no?], and i would really like to be at least somewhat productive in the remaining weeks. specifically, i am expected to:

❏ make a poster to present at a national meeting at the end of june [probably near the end of my leave].
❏ redo a few experiments to tighten up some data for said poster
❏ endure 3 on-call weekends between now and my due date [starting tonight . . .]
❏ work in 3 full-day clinics between now and my due date [one today!]
❏ present at a research progress meeting mid-march
❏ present a journal club presentation
❏ attend number of conferences [and hopefully actually learn things]
❏ take my in-training exam in march — at 38 weeks gestation
❏ do a number of random odd ‘n’ ends which are no big deal but take up time

now if i went into labor next wednesday, my career wouldn’t go down in flames [and our baby would be able to stay out of the NICU if all went well!!]. but honestly i would much prefer to have the above loose ends tied up BEFORE the [real] contractions start coming. and since i’m convinced i’ll have until 40 6/7 weeks, i should probably try to do things right since i’m guessing i WILL have the time, if not the energy.

SO, i feel like it’s time to prep a big list – similar to exam countdown time, or when i was preparing to submit my first giant grant application. it’s time to suck it up and just put my nose to the grindstone and GET IT DONE. i will try my absolute hardest to corral my baby-related tasks [and thoughts? i hope?] to specific times when i am not engaged in other things.

finally, i will sleep as much as i can and try to ENJOY the last several weeks of babyless living without turning everything into a countdown! wish me luck . . .

and on a completely different note . . .
josh and i ventured out to a new [to us] restaurant for an early dinner last night: bull street gourmet & market. this little eatery is located in hope valley square — not exactly our ‘hood [we’re downtown], but close to duke and convenient to those that live around the southpoint area [non-locals, forgive me!].

right now, i’m trying to strike a balance between home cooking/leftover + takeout — giving myself a bit of a break without succumbing to expensive options or total junk food. this place definitely fit the bill.

we are obsessed with bulls here
for $8.99, any half-sandwich can be paired with any half-sized salad. i chose a tomato/mozz/pesto sandwich and a salad with tart apples, walnuts, feta, and a lemon-poppy vinaigrette.

this was fresh-tasting, reasonably healthy, and delicious! it was more like typical lunch fare, but neither josh nor i were super-hungry so it worked out perfectly. BONUS: it was an insanely warm day and still early, so we actually were sitting outside. in february.

the staff was super-friendly and the service excellent. at some point, i’d like to go back for brunch!

i had more to say
but i’m out of time. some link/thoughts on habits + happiness tomorrow.