We had some nice family time yesterday . . . and then the kids sort of melted down and needed to go to bed. Oh well!
It happens.
Just because there was one scene with yelling and threats of iPad-time-loss doesn’t mean it was a bad day. Anyway, my phone pix suggest there were some good parts.
I was technically off from work, so after some brief AM meetings, I spent the day partially with the kids & partially doing my own things. It was a lovely day. I:
- took a walk with Annabel
- helped C with some of his schoolwork (I need to get the wiggle chair one of you recommended!! He CANNOT stop moving!)
- recorded 3 pilot BLP eps!! (yes, Best Laid Plans . . . turns out . . . I have plenty to say about planning.)
- had a Zoom closet consultation with Lani from Real.Life.Style — she was a guest on our podcast and graciously offered this to me. It was fun though forced me to come to terms with the emptiness of my closet.
- dinner w/ fam & post-dinner walk (we had gorgeous weather – not quite warm enough to swim but warranting 2 walks around the neighborhood)
Walk Sightings . . .
Once again, I feel kind of . . . guilty admitting that I had a nice day under these conditions. I could imagine reading this and being annoyed (if this applies to you I am truly sorry!). But I did.
Today (clinical day):
- 10 telemedicine pts; catch up on results calls between pts
- One work meeting (which I may try to do while taking a walk – we will see)
- BB 21DFX Leg Day
16 Comments
I don’t think you should feel guilty about having a nice day! Most of my days are nice days at the moment, and when we work ourselves into knots trying not to feel good about how good we have it, that doesn’t benefit anyone else, it just hurts us. If anything, I think if I was having I’d be more annoyed about you NOT counting your blessings and appreciating the positives. Everyone’s different. The world still needs joy/contentment/positivity so don’t feel like you need to hide yours!
Hi, Sarah. I agree with previous comment (Katie). What I’m enjoying about this series from YOU is that it’s always contextualized and self-aware. You’re aware that you’re married, have a nanny, have financial security, etc EVEN AS this is really hard. It’s really hard. 🙂
I’m also finding even in the worst of days there are moments (I hope) my children will remember fondly as part of a general background of a reasonably good childhood. Like Pokemon Go walks, family games, making root beer floats, etc. It’s challenging for me to separate out how I *feel* about a day vs. what my kids might be experiencing.
Oh yay that was me with the wobble chair! It’s SO helpful for wiggle butt kids or those who like a lot of sensory stimulation
Please share! Getting my kid to sit still in front of a screen doesn’t happen at all. It’s a source of needless conflict every day – I try not to care but she either gets hurt or knocks the iPad on the ground if I don’t make some effort to stop her
The wiggle seat was a lifesaver for my ADHD kid for a few years. Now we just have him stand and work—one benefit of being at home, no one to tell you to stay in a seat all day!
Try a makeshift stand-up desk for C to do his school work. Use painters tape to tape a square on the floor for him to stand in and then prop his computer up on a box or something so it’s eye level for him. Sometimes a new setting for school work can make all the difference.
I feel there is some sort of meltdown almost every day here. I know I’m not helping by having a bit of a short fuse myself at the moment and feel SO guilty some days when I’ve really yelled and definitely modeled unhelpful behavior. But it’s true that most days are 90 percent good and it’s the other 10 percent of the day that ranges widely from a little cranky to full on meltdown/tantrum/disaster. It’s just hard not to feel like a failure anyway.
I am so jealous the way G seems to be able to be part of the big kids play with out destroying everything. We have generally taken a break from magnatiles because my 2 year old wants to smash everything the5 year old makes and she gets (understandably) upset. Any tips?
The threat of iPad time being taken away was notable enough to be included in a blog post? At least someone is winning at parenting during the pandemic, and it isn’t me.
That is fun that you did a zoom consult with Lani. I enjoyed that episode even though it totally does not apply to the current state of life when I live in sweatpants or workout clothes! When we are done having children, I would like to do a clothing consultant. A friend of mine did it years ago and I got to go along as her helper during the shopping part and it was a lot of fun – and I am NOT a fan of shopping. But the consultant had stuff pulled at every store so it was very fast/efficient. I would stay behind and pay for clothes with cash my friend gave me and they’d move onto the next store so she could start trying things on. Also, I think having an ’empty’ closet isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I think that’s better than having a closet that is stuffed with clothes! I would actually like to get to a point where I really pare my closet down and have more of a capsule wardrobe with pieces that go together. But I need help to accomplish that!
I am glad you had a good day. Don’t feel bad saying you had a good day. We all deserve to have them! Yesterday was an ok day for us. It poured rain for most of the day so we weren’t able to do our lunchtime walk. But it cleared up after we were done working for the day so we went for a family walk and I made chili in the instantpot for dinner which the toddler refused to even TRY which is so frutrating. But all in all, not a bad day.
Ooh, I hope there is more to come re: the closet consultation! I was so intrigued by this BOBW episode. Although I have zero free time to tackle such a project right now (as we’re alternating work and parenting while we have no other childcare options), I found it a really nice distraction from all the heavy stuff otherwise occupying my thoughts. So glad you had a good day – totally agree with the other Katie above 🙂
Ummm…I threaten to take screen time away several times a day around here. Its literally the only thing that works. except when it doesn’t and then the jokes on me, because that’s my only quiet/interruption free time of the day usually!
We also had a nice day with a meltdown at the end. It happens. I haven’t quite finished that particular BOBW episode but I was happy to hear her recommend a lot of my go-tos. I am really quite boring so I just buy the same thing over and over…but I do need to up my shoe and bag game.
Please post an update about your wardrobe after all is said and done with Lani! I am admittedly fascinated by the concept of a consultant and maybe one day will do it…though I’m such a bargain shopper that I can’t get on board with buying things full-price even if they are classic/will last forever/etc.
(I still buy those things…just on sale after stalking them for weeks/months!)
On the guilt front, I posted (anonymously) a few weeks ago that I had serious mental anguish/guilt over continuing to use our childcare since we are able to do so while my husband and I work from home. I have since decided to stop feeling guilty and instead feel grateful, as I am also not hating life during the pandemic (putting aside the fact that I know many others are directly impacted by illness, loss of job, etc.). But personally, I have gained back 2 hours of commuting time every day, mornings are delightfully not rushed, I am sleeping enough, I am much more present with my kids because I’m not constantly thinking about the packing of lunches/getting backpack together/work that I didn’t get done, and our weekend are slower but not boring. I recognize that I’m the minority and we are very lucky to be in this situation so…I’m trying to enjoy it. And I think that’s okay! In genetics, we learn about ‘survivor guilt’ and there’s a weird version of that at play here, too. So while I’m allowing myself to feel it, I also am focusing on enjoying the things that I’m lucky enough to get to experience during this weird time. It very much sounds to me like you are doing the exact same thing.
Cool pineapple! Honestly, most of my days are pretty nice, too. Sure, I am not getting as much work as I should be getting done and there is a lot of general worry about the future, but I like the slower pace that this crisis has inflicted on us.
Can’t wait for the podcast!!! And I want to hear all about the consult. I debated finding a local Lani (personal shopper? Stylist?) but if she does VIRTUAL ones then maybe I can just go with her. I don’t mind paying for the service if it results in quality clothes I’ll wear. Curious about the fee, process, and what you learn from it.
I think there are more and more nice days in the situation because we humans adapt to situations, and this one is not terrible unless we are victims or directly affected. It is a tragedy, but we are not all actors of this tragedy. A lot just have to be confined with kids and… we adapt and there so have some good days because we are able to recognize/internalize our privileges.