It is hard to function right now. Not saying this to complain; it’s just an observation. It feels very odd (and weirdly inappropriate) to be thinking about meetings and ordering labs and casually chatting with coworkers when events are unfolding as they are.
I remember when we went to war with Iraq. I (obviously) remember 9/11. This time feels similar.
And I have been writing a blog series about my family, reading, habits and planners. So where does that leave me? Feeling slightly ridiculous. Feeling guilty. Feeling irrelevant.
I don’t know what to write right now. Saying nothing clearly feels wrong. Sharing my own (laughably minor in comparison) experiences with prejudice feels ridiculous and trite. Posting resources over and over again isn’t helpful now that we’ve all seen the same lists (and admittedly OMDG’s post made me self conscious, but I would argue that saying something is better than saying nothing right now, and also I did find some lists helpful and will be editing my own summer reading list). It feels like there are a million wrong words to say and so few right ones.
I recognize my privilege.
I am and will continue to be an ally and advocate for those living without this privilege. Particularly those with dark or black skin who live in a world that is completely unfair to them.
I will do this with donations. I will do this by educating my own children. And I will do this in small ways every day as I move around in the world. Taking extra time with patients that really need it. Making sure that everyone is offered the same level of care (bending backwards to REALLY level the playing field, because patients with privilege are able to be their own advocates). Continuing to actively recruit underrepresented minorities into our residency program (we are currently something like 60% and I am very proud of that).
All that said . . . I want to continue to blog about my life, too (privilege and all). Writing this series has been a source of comfort to me and I have received notice from others that it is for them, too. I can listen to news (in measured doses; I still maintain a 24/7 stream is untenable). But I will also continue to do other things. They are little things, but they are life right now.
I hope that’s okay.