Yesterday was . . . better. I did end up going to work (thank you, Chelsea). And I a) got more done and b) had some good conversations with Black coworkers about current events and c) felt more positive about my job than I have in a while. SO: that is good.
Honestly, I think I need to get over the idea that my kids are somehow better off if I work from home (or, to flip this, ‘deprived’ if I go to work and leave them with our nanny). Yes, it’s nice to put G down for her nap. And I know many people are able to focus at home and make great use of kitchen access / no commute time / no coworkers coming around to ask random questions (I’m basically the unofficial IT department of my office for the other physicians). BUT — I am better off working at work. I just am. And I have a lot of people depending on me to continue to get my job done, and to do it well.
Furthermore, our nanny is perfectly willing *and* capable of handling the kids at home. And whoever pointed out that she may actually prefer me out of the way (easier to maintain authority/control that way!) is probably right though I know she would never tell me that. (Yes, we gave her a significant raise as soon as schools closed. She is also working fewer hours now than she used to back in our Miami Beach days when she was home with two tiny ones).
On that note . . . she is also capable of reading and leading the kids through some educational programming (great suggestions, by the way – thank you!). And school is OUT so the pressure to do as much is off, anyway.
Yes, COVID-19 is certainly still around (see below; not terribly encouraging recent FL trends). But if I have to be in the office 2 days/week anyway, 2 more probably isn’t going to make a big difference. Especially since those 2 I mostly stay in my own (tiny) little zone.
At least the deaths are down.
ANYWAY. All that said – it is a new day, and I feel a little better. I am solo parenting (mostly) this weekend as Josh is on call. My calendar always says “J-Call” on those days and sometimes I dread them, but as the kids have gotten older they are slowly improving. I am determined to get the kids outside for the morning and then spend the afternoons relaxing (nap/screen time combo for the win). My own to-do list includes:
Plus “Leg Day”. Doable hopefully . . . AND IT’S TAKE OUT NIGHT. Already excited.