COVID19 life

Day 123: All or Nothing

July 16, 2020

I am finding myself prone to all or nothing thinking lately, and I want to work on catching myself in the act and stopping it.


I’m either on top of everything, or life is an unmitigated disaster.

My kids are either COMPLETELY FINE, or tragically suffering and missing out on childhood.

I absolutely love my job, or OMG WHEN CAN I FIRE (realistic answer: not anytime soon!).

The pandemic era is a chance for rebirth and change and wow I am so lucky in life, or this is outright misery.

The truth lies in between. For all of these. Probably for everything. I didn’t want to get up with my alarm this morning and spent at least 15 minutes lying in bed (after snoozing) reading articles on my phone.

This does not mean ‘the day is ruined’ or ‘I am a failure of a human person’, both thoughts which floated up into consciousness after the fact.

Today is a day off, though I have two meetings I have to attend (see? Even a “work day” or “day off” isn’t all or nothing). I will not use every minute perfectly, nor will it be a waste.


❏ Library pickup (YAY!). (Note: I also received my order from Pyramid Books in the mail so I will be surrounded by great NON-SCREEN reading options! SO excited.)

❏ Create podcast calendar/tracking system and decide on official BLP launch date

❏ BB 80DO #53 (legs / phase 3). Note, there were only 68 spiderman pushups in yesterday’s workout — not 88. So I stand corrected. But that was plenty.

❏ make pile for tailor

❏ organize closet

❏ watch at least one BSC ep with Annabel

PLUS listen to pile of pending podcasts while doing some of the above tasks.

hopefully more checkboxes after today
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  • Reply Lisa of Lisa's Yarns July 16, 2020 at 8:46 am

    I also tend to fall into the ‘all or nothing’ way of thinking. I wonder if it has to do with being upholders/enneagram 1s (I think you might be a 1 like me??). I’m also a very black and white thinker. My husband is always trying to get me to ‘live in gray’ and it is a challenge! I hope you have a great day off that results in lots of checked boxes! That is always SO satisfying! Bummer that you still have calls on your ‘day off’, though. But so it goes! Also, OMG. 68 spiderman pushups! Dang! 68 or 88 – that is A LOT. Way to go! I really want to get a beach body membership again after this pregnancy. My days of going to the gym and definitely over and I really loved the different programs they had to offer. But I need to get through this pregnancy and the early post-partum part first before I can really focus on getting back in shape.

  • Reply Anna July 16, 2020 at 8:46 am

    can’t wait for your new podcast and would love some recommendations for others. thanks!

  • Reply Sam@Eye to Wonder July 16, 2020 at 8:52 am

    Library pick ups make me so happy! I generally gravitate to ebooks, but that’s changed now that so much is on screen. I have a stack of new books from the library and bookshop, which has definitely brightened my mood amidst all the anxiety-producing news this week. Any books you are especially excited to read soon?

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger July 16, 2020 at 9:06 am

      SOO many! Big Summer, How to be an Antiracist are my next 2 I think!

      • Reply Emily July 16, 2020 at 11:55 am

        What other books did you order? So curious — and LOVE your increased book coverage/2020 book tab!

  • Reply Omdg July 16, 2020 at 9:09 am

    What’s a Spider-Man push-up?

    Also I am a failure of a human being since I regularly check my phone for at least 30 min before I get out of bed (not on OR days). Today I also hit snooze. 😱.

  • Reply Kate July 16, 2020 at 11:07 am

    I am 100% not trying to insult you, but is it possible your hormonal/meds needs an adjustment? The past few posts feels like some you had before you got on them during some points of your cycle.

    Of course, it’s also a crazy time in the world right now!

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger July 16, 2020 at 12:42 pm

      I think it’s just the crazy time. This post did seem kind of dramatic (and reflected my feelings this morning, most definitely) but I feel like my overall moods are not bad considering . . . life circumstances. This is very different than last Nov/Dec when things were fine (in fact — I don’t think I appreciated HOW fine!!!) but I was consistently miserable.

      • Reply Kate July 16, 2020 at 1:13 pm

        Totally makes sense.

  • Reply Horrified. July 16, 2020 at 11:51 am

    I do not know who else to ask. I saw the following: 1/3 of children tested in Florida are positive, they are likely passing it on.
    “17,073 children in Florida tested positive for the coronavirus
    The 31% positivity rate for children is 3 times the state’s average positivity rate”

    The source seems to be from:

    I have no idea if this is a valid source or not. Do you have any information that you feel appropriate to share? I realize you are not a fact checker and this is outside your professional information. But frankly it horrified me (particularly the part about the long term damage being found in impacted damage) and I have no idea where else to turn for a comment about reliability on this. Perhaps if you do not feel you can comment you may know where to look for an answer on validity of the report.
    Thank you for you kindness in considering a response.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger July 16, 2020 at 12:40 pm

      Hi – so, I”m not sure if that’s the actual number. If it is, part of the reason is that tests are getting more scarce esp for children. SO, for a child to be tested in the first place, they’d either have to be sick or have a positive contact. That’s going to skew the % up. While there have definitely been children hospitalized in our state, the case #s are still very very low compared to adult #s. Hope that helps.

  • Reply Emily July 16, 2020 at 11:56 am

    Just commenting to say I’m excited for your podcast!

  • Reply Ana July 16, 2020 at 5:02 pm

    Yes, this is perfectionism, right? If its not PERFECT its terrible. i.e. if I’M not perfect, I’m terrible. I still struggle with this too, even though I can objectively see that we live in the middle, and one mistake doesn’t unmake all the effort.

  • Reply Coco July 16, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    I feel you. I’m the same… one the day life is beautiful, the next… when is the end of the pandemic? is there an end?
    i think the high degree of uncertainty in our lives now make us melodramatic despite our favourite circumstances relatives to many.

  • Reply Danielle July 16, 2020 at 5:56 pm

    I’m glad you got to do a library pickup! I work at a public library outside Seattle and we started doing curbside pickup for holds 2-3 weeks ago. After 3 months of sitting in my house it has dearly warmed my heart to see how thrilled my patrons are to get new books and finally return the ones they held onto for 14 weeks!

  • Reply Daphna July 16, 2020 at 8:59 pm

    I came on here to thank you for recommending BSC! I never read the books even though we are similar in age, but it is great TV to watch with my three elementary school aged kids. Even my 10 year old twin boys like it. Finally something to look forward to as I power through my last yr of fellowship and study for boards and await news about what’s happening in our public schools in Boston…eek!

  • Reply Hannah N. July 20, 2020 at 8:41 am

    I have been struggling with “all or nothing” as well! This happens to me during stressful times outside of covid but is so much more frequent now. I’ve also had a rough time with letting super small things “ruin” my day. Trying to practice some grounding techniques to try and steer myself away from this thinking or at least letting myself acknowledge that it’s so so difficult right now but that my day can still be productive/happy/etc. As always, thank you for sharing!!

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