I started to pull up posts from 1 year ago. I’m not sure why I haven’t done this little look-back sooner, but wow.
It’s mildly traumatizing and definitely somewhat embarrassing to read.
(You can find anything you’d like in the March 2020 archives, but here are a few classics: March 11, March 16 – which I deemed “day 1” of what turned out to be a rather long series, March 17).
And here we are. March 9, 2021. Some people have gone through real trauma. Others who were luckier have acquired some new twee hobbies. We all have masks (and a whole new vocabulary and fund of knowledge around facial coverings!) and even 60+ year olds are video chat competent (was going to say ‘savvy’ but that might be a stretch for some). Telemedicine is a common thing. We had a virtual interview season for our residents. My work is partially remote (please, let me keep this aspect!). We’ve come quite a long way in the past 360ish days.
I just finished a really busy call week. Sometimes busy can be fake-busy where there’s a lot of activity without acuity, but this was legit busy — just a lot of sick kids needing care (fun comparison: here was my last pre-pandemic call week — comparatively easy! This time, I had at least 2 overnight calls 6/7 nights). There were a lot of medically complex children admitted with various things. Sometimes COVID was a factor, mostly not.
So despite all of this change, things don’t feel all that odd or temporary anymore. My life currently feels almost normal, honestly. Minus most social gatherings and travel, and plus PPE. I recognize that is not true for many and there are staggering regional differences. But, as I have done this whole time, for better or for worse, I am sharing my own experience.
Also, I am pretty excited about CDC’s new vaccine guidelines! AND the increasing availability of vaccines in the coming weeks + months. I am going to see my sister. There are signs that there is a going to be a return to — maybe not 2019 normal, but a reasonable-kind-of-compromise-normal, and not just for an elite few but for many.
I have more I’d like to write about but I’ve also got some paralysis due to the possibility of judgement that might my way, and honestly I’m too tired to handle it right now. So . . . I think perhaps that’s enough for today.
9 Comments
Thank you for writing and for ALL THE SUPPORT your regular postings throughout the difficulties of the past year provided to so many.
I always appreciate your posts and insight. Hope you share more of your thoughts soon- I’m intrigued! And YAY for getting to see your sister. I can’t wait to get vaccinated and be able to see family again.
I’m so glad you get to see your sister and meet your niece. I am glad the CDC released guidelines for what vaccinated people can do. MN expanded their eligibility so I am getting my first dose tomorrow!!! I’m so excited!! The grandparents are all fully vaccinated, too, so we saw my MIL for the first time since early November. She hasn’t met our 3 month old baby so was very excited to see us and play with our 3yo. The weather has also warmed up here so I have been going on walks with friends which feels sooo good! So it seems like the worst is behind us. But we are still being very careful as there’s still a risk of us being exposed with our son in daycare.
I’m so happy you are getting vaccinated!!!!
I’m sorry fear of judgment is keeping you from posting more. I think I’ve posted one negative comment ever and have read nearly all of your posts so clearly I think you are doing great! But I am a huge wimp about criticism and can’t imagine opening up at all the way you do so kudos to you and just do whatever feels right in terms of posting.
I am personally happy that people are feeling slightly more normal as long as they aren’t going crazy and throwing caution completely to the wind (e.g. huge weddings need to wait a lot longer in my opinion!). I recently found out I’m going to get a chance to be vaccinated soon which I was not really expecting but given that my husband won’t be it probably won’t make that big of a difference.
If you feel comfortable would you post a little more about how A’s experience in school has been as time goes on? I think I remember she’s in person but essentially doing virtual school in the classroom. That’s the situation we are looking at for my daughter and frankly are really really struggling with that idea. Really want to give her more opportunities to socialize and practice social skills (this was identified as a need for her by multiple professionals but just has not happened virtually) but she’s struggling a lot with virtual school and I’m worried it will be worse in a room full of other kids. Have the kids generally managed ok? It’s just all so crazy to me.
Yes! Though in Feb they separated out the virtual kids so her classroom experience is now the normal one. I’m wondering what she’d say if I asked her to compare and contrast. All that said, she was basically fine on virtual. Even at home. C wasn’t though!!!
Thanks for the indirect link! I’ve been avoiding reading my posts from last year. It’s too soon! I might be embarrassed by my last year’s self! Anyhow, I hope it’s not me you’re fearing judgement from, though maybe it is. Frankly, to say I am delighted about the new cdc recommendations is the understatement of the century. They make me want to frolic the globe, though obviously I will not do that. It is amazing to go to work without fear. To take care of a covid positive kid in the or and not worry about bringing it home and killing my husband. It’s so much better than it was a year ago, I just cannot even…
We’re going to be in the last eligible group for vaccines. It’s a good thing that I don’t NEED it and I’ll gladly let more high risk individuals go first, but it is kind of depressing seeing everyone else return to “somewhat normal” while we’re still stuck at home. Combine that jealousy with anger at all of the people who never took COVID seriously in the first place, and it’s all just really weighing on me as we approach the one year mark. It’s a weird mix of being jealous and feeling very hopeful reading your positive outlook towards the future, so thanks for letting me vent and also providing that glimmer of hope 🙂
Please don’t feel paralysis about writing more. Your vulnerability is one of the reasons I love reading your blog so much! I love that you go into so much detail – what’s going on, what you’re feeling, how you’re handling things. I am very happy that you’ve reached the point where you feel (almost) normal. That is a great place to be after this crazy, crazy year.
Me, I’m still not quite there yet. I see glimmers of hope (my son finally got to return to Kindergarten a couple of weeks ago), but, here in Germany (I’m an expat, originally from Australia), things still seem a little complicated: we’ve been in a pretty strict lockdown for what feels like an eternity, the vaccine roll-out has been much slower than expected, and now they’ve just outlined a very arduous journey out of lockdown. This includes self-testing before you’re allowed to do things such as go to the gym or a restaurant. I think it’s great that the research and technology has moved so fast in response to the pandemic, but I think things will also be difficult to implement.
But your hope and positivity gives me hope too – so thank you!!