Goals life

The Next 100 Days

September 23, 2021

Today (Sept 23rd) is the first of the 100 days left in 2021.

In those 100 days, I aim to:

1- Focus on screen time (yes again). Seems like a good time for me to resurrect Operation 100!

2- Eat better and work out consistently with the hope of making most of my wardrobe fit comfortably again by 2022. I am basically wearing 25% of my clothing right now and it’s getting old, and I hate feeling distracted by negative body image thoughts (sad but true). I recognize it’s mostly the eating. I just got into some really bad patterns over the past few months and I’m ready to let them go.

3- Work on bedtime alongside the kids with the goal of making it a mostly-calm, low stress routine. Some nights it currently is; last night (solo) I think I screamed “IF YOU LEAVE THE ROOM ONE MORE TIME YOU WILL NOT WATCH A SINGLE MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME THIS ENTIRE WEEKEND” after a lot of hijinks (mostly from G who got out of bed for the express purpose of squeezing out toothpaste all over the kids’ bathroom, including a $22 tube of Mi Paste that our dentist wants Cameron to use). Just . . . not the vibe I want to cultivate. At all.

4- Generally work on my overall awareness of time. I’m not sure I have it in me to time track for 100 days, but I am going to pay more attention to how I am using leisure time. (Item #1 will help with this I have no doubt.)

5- Keep work at work and really adhere to shutdown rituals. I only have one week of call during this next 100 days (so . . . 7%?) and thus for the most part I should be able to get my work done during the days, especially if I am focused and efficient.

A & C discovered partner kids yoga challenges on YouTube. You would think this would have gotten their evening energy out . . .


  • Reply Jen September 23, 2021 at 10:33 am

    Oooh 100 days! I do see your list and see things you want to improve (and are probably being too hard on yourself about) but I wonder where is the fun for you? Where are the enjoyable things? Are you giving up screen time to do more enjoyable things? Or will you just be doing chores? We are in the thick of the adulting/parenting years and it is hard to make space for fun things and I struggle with it. And maybe it’s just the mood of the post and you have plenty of awesome things you’re doing – like getting new planners! yay!

    And, i saw a great post from an RD (the Nutritiontea on insta – who is a great follow) who had a post about how clothes are made to fit us, we are not made to fit clothes!

    • Reply Courtney September 23, 2021 at 12:38 pm

      Sarah, your list seems like a lot of “shoulds.”  And I say this not as criticism, but with kindness and compassion.  I hear you and I have a lot of similar frustrations with bedtime routines, eating, and not being focused at work.  Be kind to yourself and focus on what positive behaviors you can add.  And add in some rewards in for yourself!  
      Also, start small. It sounds like you’ve identified some pain points for your current season, but five new routines seems like alot to tackle. Wishing you a happy 100 days!

    • Reply HJ September 25, 2021 at 9:19 am

      @Jen- Thank you for the suggestion to make sure our lists (if we have them) can/should/may include things that are fun, enjoyable and nurturing. What a perspective shift!

  • Reply Omdg September 23, 2021 at 10:40 am

    You are objectively thin, Sarah. Not that I don’t wish I weighed 5lbs less… but I am so much more productive when I am not constantly hungry. So I’ve just been telling myself I can save either my ass or my face, but not both. If my BMI creeps above 25 then maybe I’ll change something, but… eh. Life is too short to obsess over this. If you need to go up a size who is going to even notice besides you?

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger September 23, 2021 at 1:29 pm

      you mean me AND my pants 🙂 ?

      sigh. I think there’s value to this but I mean . . . I also feel kind of crappy like as Gillian noted below. Sometimes it can be hard to tease apart “feeling crappy” and “feeling crappy about myself” but I feel like there is a bit of both.

      • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger September 23, 2021 at 1:43 pm

        maybe I should just start wearing Vuori joggers every day. Including to work. It would be a statement . . .

        • Reply Omdg September 23, 2021 at 6:56 pm

          Athleta joggers are a bit more substantial, and work appropriate. 🙂

          Why wear hard pants if you have a choice?

      • Reply Sanne September 23, 2021 at 1:53 pm

        I feel people are inclined to look at their food when they feel crappy (about themselves). And it makes sense to a degree because it feels like this is something we have control over. But maybe it´s other factors (stress being a big one). Also, there´s so much societal pressure about eating ´right´ that when we feel we eat crappy, we feel crappy. So maybe it´s not exactly the food, but the things we tell ourselves.
        I am also big on wearing clothes that fit your body, so I am adding one more vote to the buy some new clothes camp.
        By all means, eat more vegetables if you feel you like it, but don´t focus on the scales or the pant size.

        • Reply Gillian September 23, 2021 at 2:52 pm

          I can’t speak for SHU, but I feel physically crappy when I eat badly, not mentally crappy. I am sluggish and my energy levels are up and down and my GI system gets out of wack. The scale may not have changed at all but I just feel gross.

  • Reply Kaitlin September 23, 2021 at 11:23 am

    For as long as I can remember, my weight naturally fluctuates by 10-15 lb depending on the season of life. But the overall “average” weight over the year stays the same year to year. I just accept this as my body’s natural rhythm and keep my nice skinny jeans for my lower weight times and the more comfortable/forgiving jeans for when the scale creeps up. I have also used the ponytail tail elastic trick on my pants when they’re just lightly too tight with no shame.
    I’ve specifically made bedtime mommy and me time with my kids and it works well for us. Ive decided mornings are my time to myself and bedtime is reserved for the kids. We brush our teeth together, read a group story, say good nights and I hang out in their room until they fall asleep. The whole process is time consuming and some days I do loathe it. But, the way i see it, I get to spend 1-1.5 hrs cuddling with the kids than 1-1.5 hrs of everyone being stressed out so it’s a win. That being said, my minions are 5 and 1.5 yrs so they’re still in the younger years. The youngest unfortunately is also extremely resistant to giving up breastfeeding so having to wait for him to fall asleep is a necessity.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger September 23, 2021 at 1:26 pm

      I don’t mind a solid hour bedtime routine (7:30 – 8:30) and I’m not one of those people who has hours of adult time after the kids are in bed (though sometimes I am jealous of those people 🙂 ). But once we get close to 9 we are impinging on MY bedtime which impinges on my morning. And the kids need the sleep I think – I have to drag all 3 out of bed every school day at 6:50.

      • Reply Kaitlin Prysi September 23, 2021 at 1:41 pm

        Usually the nights where its approaching 9:30-10pm and they’re still just on the brink of being solidly asleep are the nights I loathe. Doing the Daniel tiger thing and taking a breath and counting to 4 sometimes helps but milage varies ;). We lights do out by 8:15p and ideally asleep by 9. No school yet since we opted to kindergarten at home but 3 days a week we’re out the door by 7:15am. I can definitely see school as being totally exhausting for kids and every minute of sleep counts.
        P.S. I also get jealous of some people’s more relaxed and/or productive evenings. I’m convinced some have to have a time machine :).

        • Reply Mtbakergirl September 24, 2021 at 3:22 pm

          When you feel so mad that you wanna roar!/ just take a deep breath!/ and count to 4..

          Lol! This brought me back to the preschool years! Honestly should bring it back into everyday rotation!

      • Reply Angela Sherman September 26, 2021 at 8:12 am

        I work to do something like Kaitlin does. I have a set bedtime that I tell the kids is bedtime 8:30 ( 8 and 10 year old) but then I basically use that hour for bedtime prep, my goal is to get them in bed by 9:30. We had a really hard time going to bed right after the kids turned screens off, and I found that an hour worked pretty well to calm them down. I still deal with sleep resistant kiddos. I also started just going to bed when they did. I used to get really grumpy because i was counting the minutes they were intruding on my time. So, like you, I use the morning more for myself. I will also add that I finally took twitter and fb off my phone and I use them a lot less AND we cut cable and netflix, so now I have amazon and hallmark… which I like, but its really not easy to binge watch tv anymore. Its amazing how liberated I feel not being consumed by tv.
        I really enjoy your goal sharing posts…. I work on a lot of the same things. I have been doing pretty well since the summer, but I am nervous about late fall and winter…. whats more cozy than sitting on the couch while its dark outside. And I live in Harpers Ferry, WV, not too far from DC, so Fall and Winter get dark and cold.
        Thanks for sharing and good luck on your goals!

  • Reply Erica Sparky September 23, 2021 at 11:35 am

    Our youngest kids sound so similar. B (he turned 4 in July) also likes to sneak out of his room and make messes. Once was every single tube of diaper cream, rubbed into the rug we keep in his room. Another time was a $22 bottle of Thinkbaby sunscreen EVERYWHERE on the floor and walls. Most nights when he’s revolting against his bed time, he’s emptying out his toy chest and cabinets.

  • Reply Gillian September 23, 2021 at 12:31 pm

    I feel you on the bad food habits. We have been renovating our kitchen and have been ordering in a lot as a result and ugh! Forget the weight. I just feel crappy when I eat crappy.

    • Reply Amy September 23, 2021 at 6:51 pm

      Agreed! There is a world of difference in how I feel when I make an effort to eat a truly nutrient-dense diet vs grabbing whatever’s convenient. That alone makes it worth it — the clothes will follow. Don’t be hard on yourself or feel like you have to deprive yourself; rather, your health and life are important enough to invest in in this way. It’s not about vanity, to me this is a quality of life issue.

  • Reply Laura September 23, 2021 at 1:18 pm

    Buy new clothes! That solves the problem of 25% of your wardrobe fitting, easy.

    • Reply KGC September 23, 2021 at 1:49 pm

      Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear (OMG MISS THAT SHOW) always used to say, “Dress the body you have, not the body you want.” They would also be on board with shopping for new clothes, as LV suggests! (But I do get the whole feeling-crappy-based-on-crappy-eating-habits. If changing those makes you feel better AND gets you to wear more than 25% of your wardrobe – some of which is relatively new, based on your work with Lani? – then it sounds like a win all around. Not trying to dissuade you from trying to change the habit just by offering the clothes-buying solution!).

  • Reply joellen9@gmail.com September 23, 2021 at 2:02 pm

    This is unrelated to your post. Been a long time reader. I’ve been reading a lot of reddit forums about how the pandemic has affected people. Am curious to see if you and/or Josh have seen the health affects of COVID in your patients?

  • Reply Shelly September 23, 2021 at 2:59 pm

    I wonder too about the feeling crappy when eating crappy. It is so relative. I’m with sanne that there is so much pressure that we are “winning” if we stay at a weight from a different time in our lives where there was more time to focus on eating and exercise or just had a higher metabolism. Or all of that. Then we feel like we are failing now when our weight or clothing size is different. The stress in that thinking adds to the crappy feeling.

    I think there is probably balance in there! Knowing how far you’ve gone into eating habits that don’t feel good. To actually being in a good balance and where you are at, you feel like you.

    That’s my two cents. It’s easy to say and hard to actually shift the narrative that lives all around us. I’m with LV too – buying some clothes and feeling awesome with all the great things you are doing. Maybe?

    Plus bedtime! Both my kids wanted me to stay with them as they fell asleep. It was tough for several years. Now my son is 11 and he easily goes to bed to read and fall asleep on his own. My daughter, reads to me and still wants me near by but is much better with falling asleep on her own. It gets better! Hugs to you now on that. It’s frustrating. Is there something you could give G to do in her room that gives her the choice of being up and needing to do something before she has to fall asleep? (that’s less destructive?!)

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger September 23, 2021 at 4:10 pm

      I probably need to work on a workable book light for her (not that she can read yet, but to look at pictures) – that might help. ANYTHING is better than tiptoeing into the bathroom and sneakily squeezing out all the toothpaste onto the counter . . . !!!!! Well, almost anything.

      • Reply Vanessa September 23, 2021 at 10:40 pm

        I resonate with so many of these comments about weight. Losing the baby weight was on the top of my list this year (my son will be 2 next January) and it’s frustrating that I still have 10-15lbs to get there. I am tempted to do a Whole 30 or cut out sugar completely, but I know I don’t want to eat paleo for the long-term. My running has gotten a lot slower over the years and I hope that losing the weight will help.

        I also struggle with bedtime. My kids complain about their bunkbed and I have such little energy to enforce my boundaries so they end up in my bed. It’s terrible.

      • Reply Heather September 24, 2021 at 8:46 am

        My 5yo has this: https://www.target.com/p/jojo-siwa-unicorn-led-nightlight-pink/-/A-75455881 She got it as a gift. No cords so we can just put it in her bed. The big light in the middle she can turn on herself. She uses it to look at stories and play with her dolls before she goes to sleep. It auto-turns off after 10 minutes.

  • Reply gwinne September 23, 2021 at 5:43 pm

    I’m also in the situation in which my work clothes don’t fit (like REALLY don’t fit) and I am trying to be okay with that and buy some new ones. Some of the items that need to be replaced I’ve had since the beginning of my career. Part of the problem is I have a specific weight/size in mind that is my “normal” but that “normal” spanned my 20s and early 30s (outside of pregnancy). I am now in my late 40s. I’ve gained a lot of weight even eating generally well. I’ve gone from the very low end of a healthy range to the higher end of a healthy range (acc. BMI) but it takes some mental readjustment. I’ve just convinced myself to buy some clothes. Thanks!

  • Reply Elisabeth September 23, 2021 at 6:44 pm

    These feel like some big goals/aspirations! If you’re anything like me it feels discouraging to keep circling back around to the same issues again and again. I’m trying to reframe some of my “goals” as longer-term values. I value healthy eating. I value work/life separation etc. It’s not something I work toward, it’s something I work within. I’m also telling myself this is completely normal and feel like the older I get and the more people I get to know the more I recognize that we ALL have a bundle of insecurities and anxieties and struggles and there is great relief in knowing that. As always, thanks for keeping it real, SHU!

    I am so feeling you on the clothes situation. I don’t know if it’s age but all my old tricks for dropping my +/- 10lb annual swing are just not working. Sigh. I feel crappy because I like fitting in to my existing clothes and don’t really want to buy new ones and go through the time/money required to re-outfit myself. I hate clothes shopping on every single level. But my favourite comfy pants are just. too. snug. Ugh.

    I remember hearing a doctor say one time that we all have a natural, healthy weight plateau. I know what mine is but really, really, really want to be 10 lbs below that…which means I always have to stay on top of my weight which gets annoying. I let things slide over the summer, but am regularly course correcting with my diet and it gets tiring. That said, it definitely keeps me fueling up with healthier items, but I suspect with some mental health detriment on the side from constantly trying to eat “well.”

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger September 23, 2021 at 8:19 pm

      I feel like when I eat relatively normally and stay active I’m pretty okay with the result, honestly. I just need to do that (mostly) consistently which lately I just haven’t been. I feel ready to work on it though and not in a self loathing way …

    • Reply Angela Sherman September 26, 2021 at 8:17 am

      oooh, I really like that idea of reframing goals to values! I like that idea of not working toward it but within it! Thats exactly what ive been trying to cultivate with eating healthier and being more active, I want these to be regular habits and not benchmarks.

  • Reply Mtbakergirl September 24, 2021 at 3:27 pm

    One thing that seems to make my evening patience better is cutting back my morning coffee intake (2 cups to 1) and adding a cup of tea around 130ish. It doesn’t seem to impact my ability to fall asleep (likely less caffeine overall in my day), but gives me the mental fortitude to get through the bedtime routine without shouting. Just throwing that out there!

  • Reply Jenn N September 25, 2021 at 11:33 am

    Not much of substance to say, but just – thank you for always being so transparent about whatever you are going through. <3

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