Mindset
I had a good day yesterday. On paper it was rather busy and I ended up fielding bedtime solo which was a bit more complicated since A had gymnastics with a 7 pm pickup.
But for whatever reason, I felt calm and maybe the kids followed my lead. I did not feel victimized just because I had to do bedtime alone (Josh got home after 10 pm, apparently some cases went obscenely late?). I had our nanny stay so that I could pick A up solo from gymnastics and enjoyed that 1:1 ride home with her. I also found myself appreciating little things the kids were doing, like A being able to manage her shower / bedtime readiness routine without any prodding and C being willing to lie on his bed alone and read while I finished putting G to bed.
(The latter might not sound big, but it is. Trust me!)
I also wonder if some of this calm is just feeling like I have more bandwidth overall. Wednesday and Thursday are my own this week and I don’t even have many recording sessions scheduled, so I get to truly have unstructured time to work on my own stuff. When I know every second isn’t promised to someone else, it makes the busier moments feel more doable.
Anyway. I feel like I have been negative about my transition feelings lately so I wanted to share some positive!
Kelsey’s Spreadsheet
I texted Kelsey 30 seconds after reading her post yesterday! In it, she describes a spreadsheet she has coined “The Years Are Short” – aptly named, because it’s true. You can view the spreadsheet on her post, and it includes the kids’ grades, everyone’s ages, and major milestones like retirement eligibility and when their house would be paid off!
It reminds me of my own 5 Year Family Travel Plan (an Apple Notes doc with 5 years of possible travel ideas with the kids’ ages included) – but better. Maybe a little more emotionally complicated (emphasizes how finite our time with kids at home really is!) – but it’s reality and worth being aware of and reflecting on.
In my travel folder, there is a note for each upcoming trip with details (flight, hotel, rental car info, restaurant and activity recommendations, reservations, etc). I clear this out and archive old trips so the ‘filing cabinet’ stays manageable.
Anyway I am SOOO taking this up a level and making a sheet like Kelsey’s. (Probably in Apple Notes as well because that is just where documents like this tend to live for me!).
PS: Inn at Little Washington definitely did not happen in 2022 (we had this planned as a 40th bday trip for me in 2020, oh well), but Colorado did!
8 Comments
Inn at Little Washington is AMAZING…and will be there when you can get there! The service is incredible. Excited for you that it’s on your radar even from Florida!
Wow, that’s such a lovely way of thinking about things, I love that. Just the 1 here so it’s less complicated in terms of ages, we can just go when things are age appropriate. But it’s fun to think “Well, proper Danish Legoland should probably happen next year when T is 6, and my half-American kid should probably spend some time in the US at some point, etc…” My husband and I are going away for a belated 2 night anniverary trip next week and I’m going to see if we can chat through this at some point.
I’ve started planning for next summer… a combination of summer camps (in Portugal b/c it is where I can find swimming intensives and I get to cos play Southern European life) and family travel. Summer is only 7 weeks here, but the cobbling childcare together already seems stressful.
Wow that spreadsheet totally depressed me. I am age 62 so time to start planning before I get too old.
I get it – it can feel heavy! And none of those years are guaranteed for any of us. But I hope maybe it will also inspire people to think about what t they want to do with those precious years!
I haven’t read Kelsey’s post yet but I need to soon because I LOVE a good spreadsheet!
If you do decide to go to Asheville, let me know! I’ve been there multiple times! I went several times when living in Charlotte and then we went there for our babymoon in fall 2017. I have several blog posts w/ recommendations for restaurants and hikes that I could share. It is one of my favorite places in the US! And if you/Josh like beer, it has an amazing brewery scene – Sierra Nevada and New Belgium have huge breweries there (we went to new belgium) and then there are a ton of local microbreweries to check out. 10/10 would recommend!!! It might be more fun as a couples trip as the hiking is amazing so it might be tough to take advantage of that w/ young kids who might whine on hikes? But it would still be a fun family trip, too.
Wanted to share a few Asheville recommendations since I was there recently:
– The Biltmore, obviously. The audio guide is really well done and the gardens are beautiful. It is a PROCESS getting to/from (and $$$), so I’d make one full day out of it vs. trying to spread it out across multiple days. It’s a big place with lots of possibilities for activities… biking on trails, water activities, horses, wine tasting, etc.
– The NC Botanic Garden is quite nice and a good place for a stroll. Wish we had had more time there. May have a reciprocal membership if you are a member to anywhere similar in Florida.
– The Blue Ridge Parkways is beautiful and relaxing — AllTrails has some good recommendations for short hikes nearby. We also were surprised how interesting the Folk Art Center was… very cool “3-D” art like quilts, furniture, etc.
– For food, we liked: Biscuitheads for brunch, Tupelo Honey Cafe for dinner. Both very kids-friendly. The condiment bar for the biscuits at Biscuitheads would be a big hit.
– We stayed at the Hilton Asheville Biltmore Park, which was a pretty convenient area for food/movies/getting around. Not downtown.
– Worth noting that they were having a rental car shortage in the area when we were there. Be prepared to wait for a car, even with a reservation, or consider stacking reservations with multiple companies.
i agree that it is the mindset that drives us sense of overwhelming, which is where I am now. maybe I should take an objective view and see that it’s all in my mind..and i have the power to change it. thanks for the reminder! 🙂
This resonates a lot with me: ‘When I know every second isn’t promised to someone else, it makes the busier moments feel more doable.’ I’m in a season of life where there’s precious little time off looking after two under-threes and what you said made me understand why my general mood is so cranky all the time! And the feeling victimised… guilty.