life Parenting

Evening Unease

April 27, 2023

I had some weird evening ennui yesterday. I can’t even figure out why! I just felt down and irritated and honestly, there was literally no objective reason.

(I mean: it was objectively bad that a kid spilled half a carton of milk on the just-washed kitchen floor — but I was having these feelings after I had already cleaned it up with some assistance from said kid.)

I think maybe . . . I just felt frustrated that our evening routine still often feels like pulling teeth and contains more yelling (both from me AND the kids AND Josh if he is home) than I would like? ORRRR maybe it was the migraine (probably running AND hormonal) that hit me as soon as work was over, though (thankfully) my rescue med worked very well, as it typically does?

A N Y W A Y. I ended up doing some aimless sort-of travel planning and some random screen stuff and it just felt like a waste of an evening.

Today has been mostly better. And I am grateful that I almost always wake up in a better mood!

2nd annual Market Day in A’s class!!
(C was not with us b/c his whole class got to “shop” there afterwards)

D – I – T – L for Weds:

4:30 up, read, plan, Headspace

5:40 run with group! I was worried about predicted storms but headed out to clear skies so I’m so glad I went. ~6.6 mi most of it with ~6+ others (Weds group is bigger than Mon though has many of the same members!). If you follow me on strava you can see a pic ๐Ÿ™‚

6:45 bfast / kids / shower

7:40 drive kids to school –> commute to work

8:30 pts + notes + results

12:00 eat lunch (in office), deal with some future work scheduling stuff that got me a bit riled up (all good though), write a blog post

1:10 pts. Worked with a (lovely) resident. Did a lot of listening. Not the easiest pt lineup, but we made it.

5:00 last pt done and migraine has started. Pick up RX from hospital pharmacy (convenient!)

5:10 drive home, stop at library on way to pick up holds x 2. Stop home to put my stuff away and change.

6:00 pick up A from art

6:30 dinner with A (other kids had eaten). Kids on various screens. I was stewing / feeling negative. Josh arrives home shortly thereafter

7:40 Josh went out running (which is fair since I have basically taken the entire AM running time slot – I am very glad he does not mind running at night since I would hate it). I start putting kids to bed – later than I wanted to. (aforementioned milk spill happened around 8 pm.)

8:45 kids in bed; I was in a MOOD and scrolled instead of reading or watching Bad Sisters which is just . . . well, from today’s vantage point, I honestly don’t get it!

9:40 sleep – (note: I set my AM alarm for 4:45 because I consider 7 hrs my minimum).

Not terrible but note the 8-9 pm trend

Things I will try to remember to do next time instead of scroll:

also would add: watch a good TV show!


  • Reply Jenn N April 27, 2023 at 3:03 pm

    May I also suggest it could just be the end of the month? I feel like oftentimes you seem to hit a wall in the last few days of a month and then perk up when the calendar ticks over. What do you think of my armchair analysis? Haha

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 27, 2023 at 3:22 pm

      Usually I’d say YES but don’t think it was that this time!!!! Possible ๐Ÿ™‚
      (I think more self-inflicted hormone swings – TMI but I always dread coming off of my pill for 4 days every few months . . . but it was time)

      • Reply Jenn N April 28, 2023 at 8:31 am

        Oooh yes totally understandable. Also, do you know what happened to the “Notify me of new comments via email” button? I used to click that whenever I commented but now I don’t see it…

        • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 28, 2023 at 2:45 pm

          omg! NO idea!!! i didn’t change anything ๐Ÿ™ will look into it!

  • Reply Grateful Kae April 27, 2023 at 4:27 pm

    We all have those days… I’m having a totally off day today, too. My brain can’t seem to concentrate for more than 2.5 seconds, and I just feel totally frazzled and out of sorts. Hmm. Although, maybe it’s because I stayed up until midnight watching our Milwaukee Bucks LOSE TO YOUR TEAM in overtime. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Man that was a nail biter that did not go our way.

  • Reply coco April 27, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    I find two things trigger me in the evening…. chaos at home, scrolling even no social media related, snacking while doing something else. they all irritate and guarantee a no peaceful evening. I can’t do much about chaos now that we don’t have helper at home (on holidays for the ramadan), but I will try to “hide” my phone, and eat a fruit on the table without any devise. let’s see if these help.
    I notice from your day in life tracking is that you have early lunch and late dinner. you don’t snack? I find my hungriest time of the day is usually 4-6pm, just before dinner, especially on running days.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 27, 2023 at 6:30 pm

      i usually eat dinner quite early – 5:30 or 6 pm! lunch is usually 11 or 12ish. Sometimes one snack (afternoon) sometimes not. Yesterday I did eat some nuts and dried fruit at like 2 pm . Always eat breakfast but not much before running (maybe 1/2 banana or skratch hydration).

      • Reply Diana April 28, 2023 at 6:37 am

        I’m not sure how to write this so it’s comes across in the way I intend- maybe think of me giving you a hug as I say it?
        I think you should give yourself permission to feel in a mood at the end of the day, at this stage of life (tho by all means don’t scroll as your response mechanism).
        I found getting a child to school, then working, then pick up, meals then bedtime the most stressful years. Every hour spent with a deadline that’s not really of your choice at the back of your mind, it takes its toll.
        From my viewpoint it got easier to be in a better mood as my daughter went through high school. Work’s still as stressful but taking away that school commute in particular made a world of difference to my mood when I get home!

        • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 28, 2023 at 2:45 pm

          i truly appreciate it – thank you!!!

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 27, 2023 at 6:58 pm

      and yes, chaos + yes, any dumb non-goal-directed screen activity.

  • Reply Jessica April 28, 2023 at 12:53 pm

    I feel like I wasted my day today going on rabbit hole of travel planning. That can really suck you in- and I think I started because I was feeling โ€œoff.โ€ I think it was a way for me to pretend to be productive, but now it just feels like a waste

  • Reply omdg April 28, 2023 at 3:13 pm

    I feel like I wasted my day yesterday because after getting up at 6:30, going to grand rounds (which was good stories, but meh overall), doing some writing and having a meeting, I then 1) ate lunch, 2) took a nap, 3) went for a run, 4) went in on call. Then I was up all night taking care of very sick children. Precall days always feel like a waste because if you want to do *anything* for yourself, you end up destroying a big chunk of time that could be used to get work done. And of course I feel like total trash today and had to cancel a meeting that involved deep thought because I wanted to remember what happened during the meeting. I am trying to be kind to myself re: feelings of being behind, feeling guilty about not getting enough done, etc., but it’s hard.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 28, 2023 at 3:25 pm

      oh man – you worked all night so I think you should have ZERO guilt about the day!! (yesterday AND today). no guilt for doing hard work at night!!! and you did write and have a meeting so that counts!

  • Reply KimW April 28, 2023 at 8:07 pm

    Now I have to look up “spa music” – it sounds relaxing!

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger April 29, 2023 at 5:05 am

      It is! Both Spotify and Apple Music have great spa playlists. Put that on, light a candle and do a sheet mask and youโ€™ve almost recreated an expensive spa experience ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply My relationship with my phone: thoughts – Mom of Children April 29, 2023 at 1:37 pm

    […] phone usage. Sarah came up with scrolling alternatives (scroll down toward the end of her post) and Elizabeth reflected on her phone usage as […]

  • Reply Elissa May 25, 2023 at 1:41 pm

    I would love to print that list of ideas out.

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