It’s my last call week of 2023! When I found out (like, in August 2022) that I’d be covering Thanksgiving I had some initial disappointment but then realized that a) this means I won’t have do cover any ‘major’ holiday in 2024 (there are 7 in our group!) and b) in some ways, a week with only 3 ‘office is open’ days is easier than a regular call week. I also won’t have to get up as early because the kids don’t have school after today!
Maybe I should volunteer to take Thanksgiving next year, given all of this. Except not, because my parents are celebrating their 50th anniversary around then and have already requested our presence in the Philadelphia area for that holiday which is unprecedented (aaand I’m also like hmmm, that’s right next to the PHL marathon, isn’t it! Could be a backup if I don’t get into Chicago). ALSO our call schedule was already given out months ago. My division likes to plan ahead as much as I do, apparently.
My goal for the week is to remain relentlessly calm in the office and as calm as possible at home. I was *not* particularly calm this morning (oops) but I won’t have a school drop-off to content with going forward and that will definitely help.
I was really sad this weekend for a while. Post injury it has been a roller coaster of I’m hurt / Actually I’m okay / Actually I’m hurt / Maybe I’m okay now / ACTUALLY NO. The truth lies in between: I am okay! I can walk without pain, and even run a few easy miles without pain! There is more that I CAN do than that I CAN’T do, and I’m grateful for that.
And, I sustained a real injury a month ago. I wanted it to be “just a bruise” but even a severe large widespread bruise is significant. My quad is still weirdly lumpy and firm in some places. I still have numbness there. And after prolonged activity I get increased soft tissue swelling just above my knee along with knee pain. My MRI WAS clear (other than showing swelling) so that’s awesome, but I’m not perfectly healed or back to normal, and that means racing 26.2 miles would be kind of pointless. I could easily do more damage, the experience itself would probably suck (even more than racing 26.2 miles kind of hurts at baseline!), and I likely would not have the kind of race time that I had previously been excited about trying to achieve. Lose/Lose situation. The only reason I felt compelled to do it was lack of closure.
But then I realized — I do not have to DO the race to have said closure! I wrote this on Saturday but it keeps coming back to me and the idea is really helpful. I can give myself the gift of closure now. I can declare the cycle over and enter a recovery phase that would actually be similar to what I might do after a marathon: low mileage, easy runs, restorative exercise, and when I am ready, a gradual buildup.
This idea was (and is) really freeing for me. From what I have read, I might expect things to return to normal closer to the ~3 month mark with a significant muscle contusion. I will be patient and work with my coach (and PT, still working on scoring an appt) to ramp back up as my body allows. I did order a Peloton (to rent, not buy!) for some cross training on non-run days.
And you know what? In some ways I’m relieved to be “done” with my training cycle! I can get more sleep during this holiday season. I can do more yoga and strength. I can keep working on nutrition (still on the protein train!). I can focus on family, reading, etc – the rest of life (not like I was fully neglecting those things before, but just nice to have more energy for everything else).
So! I seem to have read every non-fiction book I had lying around and since my Britney memoir remains back-ordered, what life changing non-fiction or personal development should I add to my list? Kind of interested in creating a curriculum for myself in 2024 . . . we will see!