Reading / TV collision moment:
I cracked up while watching White Lotus when I recognized the book Saxon was holding — it was When Things Fall Apart (the same book I am reading right now). SERIOUSLY what are the odds?
(It was given to him by Chelsea and when she asked him if he finished it, he said something like, “You know, I went to Duke.” It was a moment).
ANYWAY. I love that book and found this little coincidence delightful.
(Did anyone else watch the finale? No spoilers but have to say I loved this season!)
I just found out that spring break is the same in both schools next year!
This year was highly annoying – they didn’t line up at all, and A’s school has two weeks off (one in February, one in April), so that was 3 weeks where at least one kid didn’t have school. Next year all three have a week off together. Super excited about this!!
It has sent me off into vacation planning mode. I am hoping to do our usual ski trip over winter break and HAWAII over the summer (this will be in celebration of our 20th anniversary – we went on our honeymoon and it will be really cool to go back with the kids).
- weather has to be decent end of March/early April
- it can’t be TOOOOO pricey (need to balance out Hawaii)
- kids will be 8, 12 (!), and turning 14. Haha, just realizing I am thinking about a time frame 1 year in advance. (Seeing these ages, C being 12 in a year is the one that shocks me a little somehow; wonder why that is).
I am continuing to work on reinventing my routines.
This morning I did 20 minutes of yoga (Aditi on Peloton). It felt pretty good, actually. It’s so hard, because whenever I start ‘working’ a little bit, it feels SO GOOD, so normal! I instinctively start thinking “yayyy! I missed this, this is so great!”. But then I remember everything and get nervous about it and become really aware of my heart beat etc. I really really can’t wait to get some more specific guidance because I feel like I am someone who will thrive with instructions. (I know, I might not even ever get anything specific enough for my taste, but something will be better than the nothing I have right now.)
Coming full circle, When Things Fall Apart is helping me here in that there’s a lot in there about opening to whatever is happening, facing it head on and accepting rather than resisting, recoiling, or looking for escape.
I am not “good” at this in the least, but it’s a great concept to think about and work towards.
In other travel news, I don’t think we’re going back to Bayshore.
Josh is feeling . . . less excited about running (and training for) the marathon right now. I was supportive of him doing it (and was feeling good about coming as a spectator and enjoying a relaxing weekend in Traverse City!) but I’m not going to lie – having him take a break from trying to fit in long training runs is also a bit of a relief right now.
I know he wants to qualify for Boston, and to run the actual race. (I mean, so did I, obviously!). I don’t want to be what stops him from meeting that goal and enjoying it.
AND, it’s probably fine that he defers it for a year or so while I get used to life right now.
We might do a low key (and shorter) couples beach trip instead, we will see.
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I had gestational hypertension and had much the same problem you are describing. The symptoms of anxiety mimic the symptoms of the underlying problem- it makes it very challenging to self-manage. What worked for me was aggressively not self monitoring and intentionally handing responsibility for that to my dr. (Not my usual style). My mantra was- “I have a good care team, they will let me know if there is a problem” whenever I was tempted to pull out the blood pressure cuff. Not sure if this might be a helpful approach for you. Also wondering if your husband has reached out for therapy- in many ways (like childbirth) he probably has a much more vivid memory of what happened- might be a useful tool?
YES, this is similar! And why I am like “please just tell me what I can do and what I need to look for or NOT look for and I’ll just do it!”.
Good idea re: Josh. He seems okay but I will ask him!
I’ll echo this. As the spouse of a someone who has gone through several major medical events, it’s really hard both during and after on the caretaker, who has very different memories than the patient. I hope he’s getting support through friends, family, or through a few therapy sessions if needed (my friends were amazing!). You can be helpful as his spouse, but only so much.
Im sorry I haven’t been commenting much. Please know I’ve been reading and thinking about you a ton.
I did not see that Saxon was reading When Things Fall Apart, but I loved that book (and this season of Hitw Lotus!) I’m glad you found Pema Chodron and that she’s been helpful.
Also yay for the same spring break next year! I haven’t checked to see if we have the same one in 2026. We did not have same break this year (my kids’ was last week and mine is this week), and I always prefer when we’re off at the same time. It sounds like you have a lot of fun planned for the next school year, so something shorter and more chill could be perfect for their spring break.
I hope things continue to feel manageable. {{{HUGS}}}
I would think about Spain for spring break next year! There are lots of direct flights from Miami to Madrid and the weather should be decent in the spring.
That sounds amazing but not entirely sure would be cost effective! Maybe if we’ve racked up some significant frequent flier miles …
I live in Madrid- you can get round-trip fare from Miami to Madrid for under 400€ per ticket this time of year
I just started season 3 of White Lotus last night and it is soooo good to have it back. I can’t wait to get caught up.
I think that running is something that you have to have joy for, and Josh probably (very understandably) lost some of his joy. Once things get more settled, and he’s had more time to process then I’m sure he will have more of a “why” to go back to it. The great thing about Boston is that they hold the race every year, so it isn’t going anywhere.
Funny coincidence about the book! Also funny I had stopped at our local bookstore earlier to purchase this exact book. I remember listening to it on audio years ago. We moved my mom into a memory care unit. A lot of sadness has come up as a result. And I haven’t watched any WL yet but will get to it sometime. Glad to hear the book has helped you.
20 minutes of Aditi sounds perfect for tonight if I get out at a reasonable time. Thank you for the recommendation! I am not super into self help / improvement books but recognize that “When Things Fall Apart” might be a reasonable choice for me as well during this phase of life.
It’s very Buddhist teachings heavy – not sure whether that is a plus or a minus for what you are looking for!
I’d consider a spring ski trip, it’ll be less crowded and cheaper than over the december holidays!
I feel like it’s risky snow wise! 3/31-4-5? Maybe would be ok … but so pricey so if it wasn’t that would be sad!!!
Pretty sure Michael is taking some of the kids skiing next year that week – there should be snow in Utah, I imagine some of the other mountain areas too.
That is great that their spring breaks line up! Our kids will be at the same school next year but their spring break is during my husband’s busiest time at work so I would have to go somewhere on my own which I’m not quite ready to do… so they will probably just got to the school-based care program. Paul had a blast at it this year so it’s not the worst way to spend spring break.
I was wondering if Josh would not do Bayshore. It would probably be quite hard to be around a marathon environment… I experienced that when I couldn’t run the Chicago marathon in 2013 due to my RA diagnosis. I still went because I met up with 3 other bloggers that ran it. I cried a lot… so maybe it’s best to save yourself the pain of being in the thick of an environment you can’t be part of any longer… With time it will be easier to be around a race environment, though, I think.
I’m curious how the online conference was last weekend??
It was good and also stressful
Yeah, I can see why this isn’t a great year for Bayshore. I loved Birchie’s comment- Boston happens every year, so there’s no reason Josh has to qualify right now. Seems like a beach getaway will be better for both of you.
Hmmm, spring break. Didn’t Kae and her family go to the Smoky Mountains last year for spring? That trip looked incredible, and might not be too expensive.
I’ll second the Smokies — absolutely gorgeous and in the spring everything’s in bloom. And you can go to the Biltmore!
I also really like Aditi for Peloton yoga – she’s got a very calming presence.
What about Tucson/Phoenix for your spring break? It’s a great time of year there and there should be plenty of direct flights to PHX. A few favorites:
– Tucson: Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum (like a combo zoo/museum/botanic garden – super cool, could fill a full day), Sabino Canyon (can hike or take a tram/trolley up and walk down easily), Saguaro National Park, etc.
– Phoenix: Musical Instrument Museum (super interactive – everyone gets a headset and museum just starts playing as you walk up to the exhibits), Desert Botanical Garden, spring training baseball games, Phoenix Zoo, day trip to Sedona/Montezuma Castle National Monument, etc.
Plenty of great Mexican food, ample resorts with pools, etc. We used to visit my grandparents in Arizona 2x/year and never ran out of stuff to do!
I kind of love this idea!
Oh awesome! I will add a few more ideas then. 🙂 The Heard Museum in Phoenix is also really interesting (and has a great gift shop). It’s focused on American Indians. There is a great sandwich/salad/soup chain in AZ called Wildflower Bread that is really good, pretty inexpensive, and widely available – we did a lot of meals there throughout the state for something easy and reliable. You could also consider going north to Flagstaff (ideas below in a reply to Kae’s comment) and/or the Grand Canyon, but it would definitely be cooler. Regardless – definitely have a prickly pear margarita at some point!
And, I have multiple people I’d love to see there. So def a contender!!!
I’m saving these recs, too! We’ve never done Arizona. I always hear so much about the Sedona area (I know a bunch of people who have done spring break there in recent years) but didn’t know about these other fun sounding ideas!
Glad they were helpful! Sedona can be really pricey to stay in but another alternative to day tripping from Phoenix is to day trip from Flagstaff. It can be much more affordable than Sedona and a good base for other Northern AZ activities as well – a few more national monuments (Walnut Canyon, Wupatki, Sunset Crater), a day trip to the Grand Canyon, a night sky activity at the Lowell Observatory, a gondola ride up the Arizona Snowbowl, etc.
I’ve re-read When Things Fall Apart during a few different difficult phases of my life. So helpful!
If you have some points with flights, Europe can be surprisingly cheap, I’d do Lisbon.
My spring break NEVER coincides with my son’s, so he’s started going to my parents in Portugal for the February break. Next year, I’ll be on RL though so TBC what we’ll do then. Easter break is 2 weeks though, which is a pain when it overlaps with the teaching term. My mom is here doing grandma camp.
I am sure you’d want to support Josh, but I am also glad he’s taking a step back from running while you’re all trying to figure out the new normal. I can imagine it feels great for you to move (if you manage to not think about your heart beat). Ugh. So hard.