Toggl Notes so far:
1- I spend A LOT OF TIME IN THE CAR. Like, yesterday it was 1.5 hours (not bad) but today will be 2.5 hours (~85 minutes AM, 65 minutes PM). When I take the kids to school, my commute to work with the two drop offs is ~80 minutes. When I pick C up from XC, it takes ~60-70. It gets worse if there is bad weather, and right now that is happening a lot.
When I am driving sans kid(s), I am usually pretty good about choosing podcasts or music that I enjoy to make the most of that time. Sometimes I talk on the phone. But like, it’s a not-insignificant amount of time.
2- I am mostly already aware of where my time goes. I haven’t really had any major surprises pop up in my time tracking. Well — maybe one takeaway is that the evenings really do have a decent swathe of time, but I don’t generally do anything terribly exciting with those minutes. I may have the time, but I don’t have the energy (and, increasingly the kids need some support).
There does seem to be a bit more time for reading in the evenings if I’m intentional about it. G is supposed to read 20 minutes each night (she actually really likes to read now!!!) and yesterday we sat down to do it together. (There was some older kid stuff going on around the same time so it wasn’t as peaceful as that sounds, but we at least STARTED together.)
3- I do not do very many social things. I knew that, but seeing it in black and white helps me acknowledge the reality. Last week I did manage book club and a walk with friends — that’s decent! Actually, I also went to a bday party for G’s friends and chatted a bunch (though nothing terribly deep). But many weeks I don’t do many things that would be considered ‘social’ with other adults, including Josh. OBVIOUSLY we spend time together, but we don’t have much time for uninterrupted conversations, and I miss that.
(Note: going to Pilates does put me around others, but is not all that social yet and I’m not sure if it will ever be. No one wants to chat much as 6 AM.)
I am an extrovert and this is not my preference. I miss my morning chatty runs – they really filled this void! And I need to get back to Friday work lunches.
Will continue to look for more patterns + insights. Now: does tracking time change how I spend the time? MAYBE. Just like I think tracking my media and meals probably influences my choices in those realms. I have no problem with that really — generally the changes made by increased awareness seem like positive ones!
CALL DISPATCH, Day 2:
We are still busy, but color coding for the win again today!
I am still doing decently (I did get Starbucks though — I told myself I would enjoy two fun Sbux breakfasts this week and today was one of them. MMM warmed pumpkin bread)
I have remained calm and have encouraged the kids to act accordingly, and with a minor few bumps, this has gone okay. Maybe today we will manage our full 20 minutes of reading time together.
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I have very little social time as well. Some months it’s limited to book club. We are still in the playdate phase of life so that is sort of a social outing for me as well. My husband and I carpool and often have good chats on the way home – but not in the morning as he is not a morning person!
That is a lot of car time, though!! I am rarely in the car alone so when I am, it feels like a treat to listen to a podcast. But it only feels like a treat since it happens so infrequently!!
The car thing is so real. Our carpool buddy for our little guy got hand/foot/mouth, and it took me 45 minutes to do the carpool run his mom usually handles yesterday. The carpool line is soooo slooowww. Trying to be thankful for kids who are not sick though!
And mmmm that pumpkin bread is so good. Might actually be worth getting back in the car for.
As a bad parent, on the rare occasion that I drive my daughter to school, I usually just drive her to where the sidewalk starts about a 1/4 mile away and drop her off. She then walks the rest of the way to school. Nobody has ever said anything to me about this and it is so much better than waiting in line. YMMV. 85 min in the car is a lot! This is one of the reasons we went with public school. For HS she will be able to walk and I am so excited! I understand in FL it’s not so easy…
def not a bad parent. If A/C went to the public middle school there would be a bus and it would be much easier. The local elementary school however has a pickup line that is very crowded and slow moving with a lot of enforcement around dropping of at ‘unofficial’ points. Though I used to park at a playground that was walking distance and they walked or scootered in- that did work pretty well.
My office is a solid 30 min from our house but yeah 80 is something else. Currently I drive 3 mornings and Josh does the other 2.
In 2.5 years or so when A gets her license, this will be much easier but also slightly terrifying.
That is an amazing hack. You save time, your daughter enjoys fresh air and independence. Win win!
Enjoy your Starbucks breakfasts!!! You deserve little treats to help with a hard week.
Yes, that really is a lot of time in the car. I actually enjoy driving by myself, as I always have a podcast going. And sometimes I enjoy driving my daughter and her friends, as I get to listen in on their conversations (this is how I keep up with what’s going on!) But… it’s still a long time to be sitting there.
YES to eavesdropping on kid convos to the extent possible. You learn interesting slang AND get all the gossip . . .
I am on call this week too so following along with you for solidarity! I tracked my time last week with Laura and have been pondering social stuff as well. However, for me, I actually find that while the social things that I do are important to me and enjoyable in the moment, as an introvert I find them draining. For example even a nice dinner with two close friends is extremely enjoyable, but since I get home after that and go straight to bed and have no “quiet time” by myself, by the next evening I am so worn out and don’t even want to talk to my husband. A lot of this will get better when the kids get older (I do wake up at 5 AM a lot of mornings to get a *little* quiet time, but it’s hit or miss whether the baby will sleep past 5:30 AM and even if let her stay in her crib talking to herself for a little while it doesn’t feel like true quiet, alone time). Anyway, I’m trying to see this as a good problem to have bc I do live in my hometown where I have a lot of friends and social connections, but it’s been an interesting observation.
CALL SOLIDARITY! We can do it 🙂 !!