Thanksgiving week. I am trying (and somewhat failing) to get excited. For better or for worse, we have a lot of family events planned.
I have 2 days of work this week, and then 3 days off. I am — right here and now — vowing to take the entire week off next year. I have enough days in my PTO bank to be more generous with myself, and I don’t think there’s any year I won’t feel like I need a break by November.
I am still struggling with a number of things. At home, not at work, just to clarify. Someone who noted it sounded like my zest for life was missing — well, that sums it up fairly well. I feel rather negative and tired and the length of my fuse is essentially zero (not that I am gifted with a long one in my usual state, but still). I do remain hopeful that I can fix this, and that this is not my New Normal for this phase of life (please, no). I have felt like this before, but usually there has been some sort of triggering event. This time, I cannot identify any specific thing that is wrong or stressful. I just know that I need to fix things.
Steps I am Taking:
I saw a therapist last week and will go back to see her again.
I am trying a hormonal birth control, because getting rid of ovulation and my entire luteal phase seems like a good first step (I spoke w/ my OBGYN about everything, and she was very understanding and willing to help me. She is awesome).
I am trying to work on improving certain routines at home that are not serving anyone (kid bedtime in particular).
I may also try meditation again; I need to work on my aforementioned reactivity and I do feel like meditating helped me with this in the past (and research actually supports this, too).
So there you go! Steps.
PS: So emotional watching Frozen 2 with A (since, being born in 2012 she grew up as a toddler completely OBSESSED with #1). I acutally have to say I enjoyed it 🙂