OMG you guys! I LOVED all of the suggestions and back-and-forth conversation in the comments of Wednesday’s post. I have taken many of them to heart and hopefully will be able to report on more streamlined mornings soon. Those of you who read this blog are an amazing community and I am very lucky to have you!
I am planning on saving that as a ‘Best of’ post (working on a minor site redesign — stay tuned) so thank you all so much for sharing your own experiences, advice, and tips.
It is Friday, and since I last wrote, I:
- got sick and mostly better (whew)
- prepped and recorded 3.5 podcast episodes
- now have a 6 year old!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY C!!
I feel like he still looks like this:
He is active and smart and while he sometimes lives in a dream zone (CAMERON HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET DRESSED OMG), he always seems to get the job done. Happy birthday C.
We now have a 2 year old, 6 year old, and an almost 8 year old. Come early April, we’ll have all even numbers! (I always feel like December until April, it’s awkward saying the kids’ ages as someone is ‘almost XYZ’!).
I am excited for the weekend and very happy not to be sick, because we have a date night, C’s bday party, and more.
I will leave you with this post, which left kind of a gross taste in my mouth, but is perhaps fodder for discussion: this guy’s wife quit her fellowship with one year left, and he seems really proud of it.
I don’t know. Part of me is fully “to each one’s own!” and “you only get one life!”. But I also feel like this isn’t necessarily a narrative to brag about and be celebrated. ONE more year and she could have held onto a career that she could make flexible. Or — if she didn’t like her fellowship, she could have stuck with gen peds and found an interesting part time solution.
Finally, it annoys me that he “assumed” her lost salary would be $150K when according to doximity’s annual report, the average pedi gastro earns $268K. Was he trying to minimize his losses even while coming up with a high total #? Or minimize the value of her training (4 yrs med school + 3 residency + 2 fellowship)?
“She’s involved in their lives in so many great ways! She volunteers at their school and finds great community activities for them. She teaches them reading, arts/crafts, sports, social interactions, and so much more.
Her approach to being a stay-at-home mother is the same as her approach to medicine was: total focus on being the best.
Of course, I think she’s succeeding. She’s amazing.I’m incredibly lucky to be married to such a wonderful wife and mother.“
He also mentions moonlighting on “some weekend mornings” and having to delay financial independence. I also wonder about their ability to save for college (that #($&*# is $$$$$$).
I mean . . . I’m glad she is enjoying staying home. But I think one can also be a wonderful wife and mother AND a pediatric subspecialist. I hope I am one example of that. And at least the majority of research does not suggest my children will end up compromised in some fashion due to my choices.
Am I defensive? Yep, maybe a little.
But then I remember that
a) I enjoy my job (for the most part!)
b) I feel it is meaningful on many levels (and have made great strides in reducing the less meaningful parts)
c) I enjoy the act of contributing financially to our family AND we enjoy the things my salary brings (ability to afford more household help, to travel, eventually fatter 529s)
d) my kids are happy and healthy and it’s fairly likely they’re going to be okay either way
So yeah. Happy Friday!!