I didn’t post yesterday because Tuesday night had been a very interrupted night of sleep (night #1/7 of call), and at 1 AM I committed to sleeping in as long as possible.
(It actually doesn’t seem like a bad policy: >1 wakeup and I can then let myself off the hook for some of my morning rituals and get some extra sleep.)
Thankfully last night (night #2/7) was much quieter.
I admit I have been spending some time . . . catastrophizing, though. I have a few anticipated (work-related) challenges coming up ahead over the next few days and I seem to be living imagined versions of them even before they occur, which is a bit frustrating. First of all, I have no idea if things will be as challenging as I think. Second, even if my gut instincts are correct (though . . . honestly, I think my gut instincts are pretty well-honed) — what is the point of living out an imagined challenge 32847 times before it actually happens!?
Furthermore, the ‘worst case scenario’ is nothing all that terrible, anyway. AND it will be over in 5 days, even if it’s hard. ALSO, hard is okay. I can do hard things.
Sorry if that’s a bit cryptic.
Today I am going to try to use the crowding concept to stay in a more present mode. I will do my workout. I will take restorative breaks when I can. I will feed myself actual nutrients and not just processed garbage. I will not go all day without drinking water (the worst). I will try my absolute best to maintain attention to each task as I am doing it, rather than living in some imagined parallel “what if” space.
Josh is supposed to be doing bedtime tonight (we have a new evening schedule going, or at least we are trying it!) and I am so greatly looking forward to not parenting in the evening.
OH! And I finished Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi. I cried at the end even though nothing bad happened, just because I was sad it was over. I cannot wait to read Homegoing (same author + very different story, published in 2017).
One fun thing I have on my list today is to refresh my library holds list. (And start Anxious People which I bought in hardback mid-pandemic; I generally like Fredrik Backman).