It’s Day 5 of the new year.
Never before has a resolution failed as spectacularly and as quickly as my 299 minutes of Screen Time yesterday. What can I say — I had a rough day, for various reasons. And so I treated myself to a Screen Binge, with a heavy focus on planner review videos and the like. I think I saw about 38742 ads for Vuori loungewear, so Instagram must have read my mood well (though I didn’t succumb). Better than an alcohol or chocolate binge, I think — no aftereffects this morning thankfully! But I don’t want a repeat today.
I am trying — mostly successfully — to remain grateful that our infections have been mild, which makes us so lucky. I did find out that at least C & G are out of school until they test negative, which could be . . . quite some time. Like, possibly months.
(Their school is aware of CDC recs but wants to err on the side of caution.)
Our nanny is doing okay overall, but is not yet able to return. Hopefully soon, but nothing is certain.
So, here we are: a fresh new year that feels anything but as Josh I remain stuck at home using up leave time with no childcare. If nothing else, yesterday was a testament to the fact that C needs . . . basically a tutor/aid sitting next to him throughout his online school day. An aid with Google Classroom familiarity and a LOT of patience. He is actually learning a lot and has made fantastic progress in reading, to the point where he is starting to be able to read instructions and understand what is up on the teacher’s whiteboard. But he needs help with navigating the system, following the directions, and executive functioning, as many first graders probably do.
Could I have kept the kids home? Should I have? First, I will note that I am not sure it would have prevented us from getting COVID. I’m not sure where the kids got it and it absolutely could have been from school, but also maybe not. Notably, there have been no other identified cases in any of our kids’ classes before or after the fact of our kids getting it, though who knows if another kid was an unidentified asymptomatic carrier.
Second, I will say that I could have kept A & G home. I really could have. They both had reasons to benefit from going to school, but it was different than the situation with C. But I was operating under the idea (right or wrong) that school is a relatively safe environment. Josh and I looked at what other countries were doing. We looked around at what our colleagues were doing. I read Emily Oster’s newsletter which might be flawed but . . . it seemed reasonable and data-driven to me when I read it.
Anyway. I have reflected, talked to friends (some of whom I know are the kind who wouldn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear), and . . . I feel significantly better. Probably better enough to make it through today without a screen binge.
I am never going to please everyone with my choices, especially in this day and age. For what it’s worth, I have chosen to make my journey relatively public (though also for what it’s worth: every detail and nuance is not shared particularly when a story belongs largely to someone else). I also am not the world’s best at letting others’ judgments roll off my back, but maybe this is something I need to work on.
Again, onward and upward. Here’s to hoping that the kids do not test positive for months. I hope everyone else had a better start to 2021.