Yesterday was re-entry after a week off. I would not say it went well.
- I did not get adequate sleep the prior 2 nights (in part due to anxiety about re-entry. #%(*$(@)
- I had great plans to not stress about getting everything done at once, but felt like I was surrounded by people asking me why things were not done. BECAUSE I WAS ON VACATION. AND NO, I CAN’T CATCH UP ON ALL OF IT INSTANTLY, ESPECIALLY WHILE I AM SEEING PATIENTS.
- I developed a migraine around 2 pm that is still mildly present as I type this.
Furthermore, like everyone else I am in a news-refreshing frenzy. Our adult hospitals are bursting with COVID cases, surpassing numbers from last July (which in this region was a terrible peak). This is having ripple effects in GME, and further lowering morale for basically everyone.
Then of course, there is back to school. I agree there will absolutely be a lot of COVID in school next year. I expect many quarantines; our school’s most recent policy also quarantines siblings of exposed (though I cannot find any recommendation about these ‘secondary contacts’ on the CDC’s site) which — playing COVID roulette with the current case numbers in our area suggests to me that all 3 will be constantly home.
I know many are very concerned about the risk to children from COVID in general. This is not really my biggest fear, and as always, I feel moved to mention that our prior COVID experience surely impacts my thought processes around this and may not be generalizable. I am instead much more upset/anxious about a year of constant quarantine and homeschool. Because it was so, so miserable. And while it was fine for C to miss half of K, he’s now entering 2nd grade and I have legitimate concerns about his ability to write a coherent sentence, let alone without throwing a tantrum while doing it. (We are — and have been — working on it, with the help of professionals. Which is also painful and pricey. But the last thing he needs is a year of spotty inconsistent school.)
We are also in an area where there has been MUCH drama about masks. I am absolutely for mask mandates in school (though there is zero chance I will attempt to put my kids in N95s, given that I feel like utter #*$ when I wear one myself). But our governor certainly isn’t. I feel like this is just one more polarizing piece of BS that is distracting everyone and adding to the stew of angst and drama at the start of this school year.
I wish vaccinations were available for kids. If they were generally as effective as they are for adults — even with Delta — things would be so much better.
Being honest, yesterday was terrible. I was all excited for a fresh start and instead spent every non-working minute doom scrolling even though it was making my headache worse (though everything was making my headache worse). (At least I almost never drink anymore! If wine was my drug of choice — rather than my phone — I’d probably be in liver failure by now.)
Today is a new day though and I am determined to make it better. I will try very very hard to focus on one task at a time and will catch up on the many things currently fragmenting my attention and stressing me out.
Well! I was going to do a whole “Mind” “Body” “Soul” thing but this went on tooooo long (thx covid) so we will save the latter categories for future days.