Since November 29, I have dutifully stuck to my self-imposed total phone Screen Time limit of 100 minutes.
And then yesterday happened. I was triggered by some suspense followed by very happy news (our residents matched into an incredibly array of fellowships yesterday!) and some kid/school stuff that made me feel frustrated and sad (nothing big, don’t worry, but it elected Feelings in me nonetheless).
And so . . . I scrolled in bed instead of reading or journaling, and I was distracted and busy venting via text when I was with the kids earlier in the night. I was annoyed at myself as I was doing it, and I did it anyway! I read horrific weather disaster news on CNN and COVID-related news articles via Doximity (all total click bait). My feelings were replaced by despair around climate change and a never-ending pandemic so . . .perhaps my strategy ‘worked’?!
Thankfully I did not get tempted to go to Insta. Or shop.
Anyway. It’s a new day, and with my calmer/clearer head of the morning, I can see exactly how I used the rectangular device as my soothing blanket, and I can see how poorly it really worked for me. I will chalk this up as a learning experience and have a better day today.
PS: It is not my goal to entirely eschew news, and I recognize it would be obnoxiously privileged to do so. But panic-reading does not inspire action in me — more like hopelessness and despair, coupled with wasted time AND guilt and negative feeling about that wasted time. So I will stick to my daily Up First briefing and the occasional print Atlantic deep dive. That seems about right.