Well, it happened:
I took a 20 minute nap on the floor of my office yesterday. It happened right after lunch, once I was done with morning notes + before my first afternoon patient was scheduled. I closed my door, turned on my space heater, and put the above blanket-appearing sweater shawl thing on the floor as a pillow.
(Said sweater shawl thing was a relic from my pumping days and has remained in my drawer since 2018; I guess I’m glad I kept it.)
I’m feeling . . . a little overextended. I am so grateful/happy that Josh came home in time to do bedtime last night; I just had nothing left, energy-wise. I feel like I am maximizing my time AND outsourcing and still, there is more to do than I have space/time/energy to do. I am working on some life changes/adjustments, but they are months off. My goals lists are starting to look a bit like wishful thinking and I keep tabling certain non-urgent but important things.
In the past I felt like I had untapped time I was wasting. Currently, I do not feel that way. There is nothing in my life I want to do LESS of: time with kids, reading, exercise, making podcast episodes, posting here.
Part of the issue is that I have lots of travel this summer — and I have the PL to use and WANT to use it!! — but being away so much has my work compressed, which is challenging. I still have to do projects X, Y, and Z by their various due dates even if I am in the office less. And being in the office less –> meetings get piled onto the days that I am there because there are fewer options. Which means even less time for X, Y, and Z plus it means I’m less patient with ad hoc interruptions.
I am not really complaining; these things are just true and I should remember — I’m super lucky to have vacation days to use! After all, there were many years where I depleted my entire pile of PL due to maternity leave and was unable to take official breaks. It’s luxurious to not only have PL but have enough saved up that after any weeklong vac, I still have a sizable buffer.
So the floor nap . . . not sure if I will repeat it, but it felt right at the time. I was expecting to feel miraculously refreshed afterwards and I did not. In fact, I had a mild headache from the moment I arrived home that didn’t go away until this morning.
All that said – I will again push some of those nagging projects aside, because we are headed north tomorrow!! Hopefully I will find some ways to make the trip feel at least the tiniest bit restful. (IE: children, please do not wake at the crack of dawn daily. Please + thank you!)
PS: Guess what else is leaving? These fully packed camp trunks!!! They get shipped up north tomorrow too. I let go in the end and our nanny packed up 95% of it with A’s help. (I did the shopping/ordering/etc but she did the actual packing). There are probably things missing but I can’t imagine any true packing disasters will ensue.