We made it through
Both the tropical storm and the day at home. I did not have a particularly positive mindset and was not a particularly patient or Pinterest-worthy parent.
But you know what? Everyone is okay. And I feel that as long as my attitude is good MOST of the time and I have covered the the basics (everyone is getting fed, house is not a total disaster) — a day of wallowing once in a while is okay.
The kids played store, finished their homework (and C did his project!), and played with the neighbors. We took one (short) walk outside; I would have been happy to go for longer, but they weren’t. They also had A LOT of iPad time.
I got my strength workout in and took a nap. Josh came home in time for dinner (yay!) AND played Monopoly with all 3 while I straightened up and then played with planners at my desk (calming ritual).
And we are all still here today.
And I am in a better mood! Even though school is still closed.
TODAY
About to head outside for my tempo run, and (weather-permitting) we will go to the library. AND I will try to get some work done if I have childcare. But I’m feeling more relaxed. My official part time start is looming (I realized that I got my last full time paycheck yesterday!) and our weather is supposed to be beautiful after the storm and I am just excited for the future.
Maybe my day of wallowing was just what I needed.
THINKING OF my West Coast & Central FL friends today! I hope Ian passes quickly and uneventfully!!!
4 Comments
I agree that sometimes you just need to wallow a bit and verbalize how you feeling so you can move on. Otherwise I feel like those feelings just get suppressed but will ultimately read their ugly head at some point!
It sounds like you had as good of day as possible! I hope you can get out a bit today!! That will make a big difference, I bet!!
My family in the Venice area seem to be doing ok overall. No power of course and there is a lot of flooding but overall it seems like the damage wasn’t as bad as it could have been!
Myself and a friend both recently realized how much we like to “fix” stuff, including when we’re just sort of in a funk. If something is not going well or we find ourselves wallowing, we now try to just kind of accept it and know that it will pass. This actually seems to work well vs. the flip side which is going down a spiral of feeling guilty for wallowing in the first place and proceeding to make ourselves feel bad for wallowing or having an off day. Life (and with little ones) is hard enough, let alone if there are other factors at play (i.e. work demands, family issues, illness), and it’s really helped to just accept that we’re having a bad day and role with it.
Trying to find bright spots certainly does not hurt, but I’ve found that just acknowledging, “Yeah, today kind of sucks” and moving on seems to work better than trying to analyze every piece of the day (which is my tendency) and try to fix it or replay what went wrong in the first place. Getting outside also helps. It’s rare that I don’t feel better by the next day!
I’m so glad you’re okay! I’ve been thinking of you all day after reading news reports of how Ian has played out in Florida.
Re. wallowing: I wrote a blog post last year ALL about wallowing. Sometimes it is absolutely necessary and I find I bounce back faster if I just let myself feel all the feelings (or, sometimes, the lack thereof).
Almost always whatever storm is lingering – literally or metaphorically – seems to go away faster than when I fight against it.
I read a description once about clean vs. dirty discomfort. Clean discomfort is when something is bothering us and we acknowledge it. Dirty discomfort is when we’re upset that we’re feeling upset. We’re struggling against the issue AND our response. I think the same book talked about relating it to being in quicksand. The best way to survive is just to lay still and not fight…but it can be hard to not feel like we’re doing something to get to the other side of negativity or a hard day. Like you, I’m a planner and tend towards “Type-A” and think it takes a bit more willpower from me to actually allow myself to wallow. But when I do, I tend to be back to a state of positivity relatively quickly!
great attitude! sometimes when I travel and husband is taking care of children, I tell him focus on “survive” motherless days, just keep them safe and fed, don’t worry about them doing all the homework and behave well. that way, everybody is less stressed out (due to lower expectation) and usually kids behave better than we thought/expected. 🙂
my move day is looming too. Exciting time.