But first: Yet Another 2025 Goal!
I know, the goals series is never ending — what can I say! Hopefully we can finish by the end of January. WE ARE CLOSE.
This one is that I want to prioritize seeing friends this year! The local ones too (wrote about that already) but also far-flung friends.
So far I am planning on doing this at a blogger meetup (soon!), a local work/fun retreat with Laura, Disney cruise (we are going with friends + their kids in April!), a college friend get-together (prob August?), seeing a Duke friend at Endo Society (July). Also MAYYYYBE a fall trip to a leafy paradise with another friend, if we can get the stars to align right. I want to prioritize these things because in recent years I’ve cancelled more than I’ve actually attended and that makes me sad.
PES last year (endo meeting where I would have seen friends/old colleagues) –> cancelled due to kids’ gym meet
College friend trip last year –> cancelled due to our crazy Aug/Sept happenings
I’m starting to not trust my fun plans (Vegas didn’t help) and that makes me sad because looking forward to these kinds of things makes me happy (BUT if you don’t trust your plans will actually happen it does dull the anticipatory glow).
Anyway! Hoping I can celebrate a really nice chunk of fun friend time this year! I feel like this stuff is really important. I don’t want it in lieu of family fun — that’s really important too. But it feels like an important addition.
Oh and side note: for faraway friends that I won’t be seeing in person, I NEED TO USE THE PHONE MORE. I don’t do well with spontaneous calls but a scheduled walk & talk is the best. Will work on adding more of these to my life!
CHECKING IN
This is not going to be a complete list, but just a few things on my mind that are working really well (YAY!) or working less well (MEH).
WORKING WELL:
1- The strength training gym! I’ve strength trained 10 times in January – mostly at the gym but a couple of additional sessions because I was motivated BY the gym to continue! I’m doing it in a semi-private format which feels perfect for me — more affordable than personal training but also quite personalized with plenty of opportunity for form correction etc. The most important part is that I have to schedule the workouts the week prior, so then they are in my calendar and I know I will always go (unless something totally crazy/emergent pops up).
2- Reading 10/10. At least 10 min per day of F and NF – this is working so well. I often end up reading more than this but it’s the getting started that can feel challenging. I’m really happy with my Reading Month so far.
3- Invisalign progress report: Well, this happening! I went for my scans yesterday! Once the trays are in (~8 weeks) I will start and will definitely report back. My dentist estimated this will take about a year so by book launch time I should have pretty teeth. Yay!?
4- Running. Okay, I don’t even know why this really made it onto my list. It’s not like I needed the reminder, you know? But I have had a BLAST running in 2025 because the weather has been amazing. It makes me feel super in shape (this is ALL relative, but for me when a ~9:00ish pace feels easy and I can bang out multiple ~8:00ish miles without feeling like death, I feel super fit). I KNOW it’s the weather. But it’s so much fun.
5- Lunch! I don’t even know if it officially ended on my goals list, but I feel like my lunches have been better lately as I’ve done more planning of them on Sundays. I try to stock up on TJs salads for the beginning of the week (to avoid expiration) and strategize around home lunches (easy to make things like eggs) vs what to bring to work (easily reheatable leftovers). I have only resorted to takeout lunch once because we were out of stuff and I knew I would be very strapped for time — that day I got a protein box from Starbucks (2 eggs, cheese, etc – not the WORST choice).
WORKING LESS WELL
Here’s something I have realized: SETTING A GOAL (ESP A HABIT GOAL) WITHOUT CHANGING ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE DOESN’T WORK VERY WELL. Let me elaborate: if you vow to strength train but don’t make any sort of ‘different’ commitment to what you were doing before, you’re not very likely to succeed in your habit change, or at least not for very long.
I’m all for setting repeat goals, but I’m starting to learn this lesson — in order to move forward with something you’ve previously struggled with, you have to CHANGE something. The change could vary: maybe you need to just log off an app and consider yourself 100% done with it (this did work for me!), maybe you need to invest in support, maybe you need a new kind of accountability. But you have to do something.
Ergo, the things I am not making much progress on are things where I didn’t change anything and just expected things to be different.
I should not be THAT surprised that they are not 🙂
1- Decluttering. Funnily enough decluttering just does not seem to be the most appealing activity on a Saturday afternoon, you know? I don’t know what I’m going to do about this yet but obviously something. I DID manage to entirely declutter/weed through my closet, so that’s something! (When did I do that? I think it was a Sunday afternoon. Which works fine unless there’s a soccer game, and QUITE OFTEN there seems to be a soccer game).
Maybe I just need to wait until I am done with my book and then I’ll have more down time on weekdays. (Let’s pretend I won’t find some other exciting project to jump into to fill the void.)
2- Shutdown. Meh. I’m mayyyyyybe doing better with this but I still have a hard time accepting the whole “being done” thing at the end of the day. Kae, I may start texting you Cal’s famous “System Shutdown Complete!” with the intent to also dock my phone and avoid ALL input checks at that point in the day.
3- Screen time. I started off SO STRONG. On the plus side, I have NOT returned to Reddit! Or really done anything equivalent. I’ve just gotten sloppier with texting, checking WhatsApp, checking email, looking up random things. It’s not terrible and I don’t feel disgusting about all of that so maybe it doesn’t matter. So maybe in this case I need to adjust the goal and worry less about actual minutes and more about avoiding random extraneous “checks”.
(Someone recently mentioned The Brick. I sort of cannot imagine paying for this service but maybe the idea that I’d HAVE to pay for this service if I can’t dock my phone myself is motivating enough? Again, I’m not scrolling anything terribly addicting or absorbing.)
4- Date nights. I really want to do more date nights. But I really really need a call schedule before I can plan any. So . . . this isn’t really my fault. But I (we) are not doing great at it! We had ONE double date scheduled for early Feb but then found out A has a gym meet in Wellington (~ hr north) at the same time, so . . . never mind.
How are your 2025 goals going? I actually feel like things are quite positive here overall.
22 Comments
Might I (lovingly) question an unwritten assumption in what you wrote about cancelling date night for a kids sporting event. Do you need to attend? Can she catch a ride with another parent so she can make it but you go enjoy your plans? We try to have one parent make the sporting events but they are every week and are kids are more than ok if we don’t make them all so long as we find a way for them to attend because they have a commitment to the team.
Maybe this is important to A for you to be there and therefore important to you, and that’s ok 🙂 I just see so many parents who feel this pressure to attend every event their kid participates in, and I just want to say it’s ok if you miss some (or even many!).
Oh great point. There are only a few meets though (as opposed to like 50
Soccer games) and this is her very first one bc she broke her finger and hasn’t been able to do any yet, so I wanted to be there. But in general yes!!
Yes! I learned this from living in Europe- people here do go to kids things but they also totally let their kids do their thing while adults have their own fun. I honestly don’t even know if I realized this was an option when I lived in the US because I didn’t know anyone who would skip a kid thing unless it was for another kid’s thing.
Out of interest, what do you mean by ‘sloppier with texting’? I know it’s on the phone, but presumably it’s connecting you to friends / family (see previous goal) as – I presume – you’re either responding to them or initiating contact with them? Could that be reframed as a good thing?
I have three young kids (we’re a few years behind you – still in the weeds) and phonecalls are hard for both me and many of my friends. I’m not on socials either. But texting / WhatsApp are foundational to keeping me connected both digitally and in real life. So maybe some of that screen time is a broad positive?
Am I allowed to guess where this leafy paradise might happen to be??? *wink + hint*
I think you are going great with your goals! Perhaps it’s not realistic to build in that many multiple habits at once. Maybe for Q1 just focus on the strength etc, and Q2 focus on the decluttering, as the Q1 habits SHOULD be more resilient by then?
For me, my strength training goal has not been happening yet, but my reading, house routine goals have been going well. I’m going to try to build the strength habit by doing only 10 mins to start to make it manageable. Maybe you could do the same with decluttering when you’re ready, or even like a weekly “power hour” or something?
A decluttering suggestion—maybe try Dana K. White’s no-mess decluttering strategy? It’s not as satisfying as a big cleanout but you can do it on any amount of time. She has a handout/printable on her website but it’s basically:
Look for trash (there’s always trash)
Look for easy clutter—things that already have a home, and take it there now (even one at a time—no piles)
Look for “duh donations”—anything that is easy to donate
Ask yourself the two decluttering questions: where would I look for this first? Then take it there now.
If you don’t know where you’d look first, ask the second question: if I needed this, would it occur to me that I already had one? (If no, then toss or donate it)
Then consolidate items and respect the container—put your favorites in first. If there’s no more room in the container, you have to donate/toss the extra one or remove one in the container to add the new one.
She has a podcast and goes into detail about all of this (and her other strategies). It took me a little bit to wrap my head around it but now I love it. It can be squeezed into even five or ten minutes here or there, and if you work on the same area you do see progress quickly.
I only declutter when I’m avoiding doing something else lol. Honestly you sound like you’re winning on almost every front. Make a reservation for dinner with Josh it’ll happen. Congrats on the strength training!
I don’t have a formal goal list, but if I did more time with friends would be on it! Last year I really enjoyed traveling to meet other bloggers, so that’s high on my list for this year as well. I’m hoping to make more local friends as well – it’s just so hard to meet people who don’t write about every detail of their lives on the internet;-)
I know so well the drag of setting a goal and then not being able to set up the rest of my life to support it. For the past few years my job has been very draining, so even with the best intentions it’s very hard to focus on the less exciting stuff such as…hmm…what’s an example…hmm…oh yes decluttering! The perfect example! Something that feels great when it’s done but is not fun to do and has to get bumped to the back of the priority line whenever anything else comes up. Sigh.
I think it looks like you’re kicking butt, Sarah. Even the goals you say aren’t going well don’t seem too off track. So far this year I’m doing great at my goals to wash/moisturize my face every night (yes it’s embarrassing I had to make this a goal, but it is), abandon more books, make progress on a big revamping of our living areas we’ve been talking about doing for years (new lighting/paint/furniture). I’m also making some more limited progress on my goal to listen to Spanish podcasts regularly. A few of the others I haven’t done anything yet but I’ve started coming up with some ideas (6 one-on-one dates with each of my 2 kids over the course of the year–first one is this weekend). And finally, I have done nothing to declutter my clothes (hmm, maybe decluttering is just hard??), implement a new budget/tracking system, and work through a “teach your kids life skills” list. But I’m cool with those starting later, and we’re starting the year with a lot going on (most notably, integrating a new dog into our family!) so I’m okay with aiming to make more progress later in the year.
I feel like clothes decluttering works best when it’s timed to a seasonal changeover. So as you put away the warm clothes, look at what’s shabby, note what you need, etc. and then look critically at what’s coming out.
I did the “take everything out and throw it on the bed” strategy but I’ve got a pretty small wardrobe so this was more manageable. I need to do my son’s wardrobe but he’s away in 2 weeks and I’ll do it then, so it stays nice and tidy.
I’ve not got a massive list of goals this year, but things are going pretty well. I wanted to read 6 chunky books as I’m a really fast reader, but shy away from the big tomes. I have read 2 already, we’ve hosted twice with another plan for Sunday, my husband and I have booked an overnight while our son is at his grandparents, and I’m reading versus reaching for a screen first thing. Just 10 minutes in bed at the start of the day. I’m also getting better about packing my bag the night before, and packing breakfast after a friend told me how to make a delicious dairy free instant oat meal mix.
I’ve not for a strength training plan yet, but I think that’s a q2 project once I’m done with teaching. Wednesday is the day I could realistically go to a class, but I am away Monday, Tuesday, and not back before 10pm on Tuesday, and really need a fairly chill wfh day after that hectic schedule.
I am a huge fan of voice notes for staying in touch w friends – phone calls are hard to coordinate. I have now gotten many of my friends on board – often have 15-20 mins worth of voice notes from a few friends to listen to on my commute to work – then while I’m commuting home or walking to get lunch I can respond. Maybe not for everyone but I have loved it as a way to keep in touch without the constant phone tag
Curious to hear what tech format you use for this? Marco Polo? I’m interested in starting something with my 3 bffs
That’s awesome that you have so many plans to see friends in 2025! I hope none of them are foiled by things out of your control! I’m super excited to see you next week, but wish we would have more time together. I even looked at flights yesterday to see if there was a later flight I could take out of MIA, but it would’ve gotten me back at like 9 o’clock at night so I decided to stick with my mid afternoon flight. At least I will get to see you for 1.5 hours!
I’m hoping to meet up with two girlfriends in the Boston area in July. I’m trying to do friend meet ups every other year. Once the boys are older. I could try to do them annually. I’ve been putting off discussing this July trip with my husband since we were in a rough spot right now with me being essentially one-handed…. But it’s something I want to make happen. I also want to prioritize seeing friends more in general. Overall, I would say I felt kind of lonely in 2024 if I’m being honest. It’s been really hard to fit time with friends when I’m away so much for my job so I’m trying to figure out how to strike a balance in 2025. One thing I’ve done is focus on fostering a relationship with another couple on our block who has young kids. The boys do a good job of playing with their son so us adults can socialize pretty well and since they are walking distance away, it’s easier to get together with them.
Re: not changing anything but trying to change a habit- I often feel like I want someone else’s fresh eyes to “workshop my week”. Like I would show someone how I spend my time typically, and say what I would like to be able to do more/less/differently, and get some tips/suggestions. Does this exist??
We do a little of that in planning by season :). It’s a fun idea!!
Ooh! I like Sophie’s idea of focusing on things by quarter. Maybe it is a little too much to change a bunch of things all at once. But, overall I think you’re doing great. Yes- running feels amazing. But in the back of my mind I keep thinking “it’s going to be so sad when it’s 90+ degrees again.” Get away, thought! I just want to enjoy these short months.
Hi Sarah – I recently found your podcast and I’m really enjoying it, and now enjoying your blog posts! I wanted to share with you a resource — an old resource! I’m pretty sure you are the podcaster who mentioned you wanted to do family goal setting. In addition to Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, Stephen Covey also wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families: Building a Beautiful Family Culture in a Highly Turbulent World. Published in 1997, this book still holds up. It came out when my kids were young and I loved setting a family mission statement and goals much like the way you do for an individual. Anyway, I thought you or your followers might find it to be an interesting resource. Old copies are still floating around. Thank you!
super interesting! I will put it on my list!!
Gosh do I understand that idea of “setting a goal without changing any part of your life.” It doesn’t work if you don’t realize you have to sacrifice SOMETHING ELSE for the goal. Whether that’s time with kids or hobbies or work… something’s gotta go and that can be a tough pill to swallow. Great food for thought here!
Agree there’s an overall sense they’re going well, but probably guilty of too many at once. So much still to continue to work on.