Thank you all for your commiseration yesterday.
I am proactively trying to get myself out of the . . . #mood. Tactics deployed:
- prioritizing sleep when tired (I went to bed before 9 last night)
- making sure to get outside for a walk (I really think skipping this habit does me no favors – even if it’s just 20 minutes)
- trying to really take care of my body from a nutrition standpoint. Lately I don’t feel like things are quite in balance, and I want to get ahead of that before body image woes add more fuel to my fire.
- really REALLY trying not to stress about things I feel “behind” about (behind is often relative; there actually is no email inbox police, for example. Truly, the way I plan DOES usually minimize this kind of stress — as I’ve discussed, there is a reason I only want to look at my goals for the week each day and nothing beyond that.)
- continuing to be really really careful when I fall down a comparison trap rabbit hole. I can’t control what anyone else does, so I guess . . . let them (thx Mel)? (And if paying too much attention to what others are doing isn’t serving me, I should stop looking, if that is feasible. Admittedly, sometimes it isn’t, since it’s not like my issues are coming from social media. And THANK GOODNESS for that, because I expect I would be ~90,000 times worse off.)
- I went back to tracking time (Toggl)! I do feel this little bit of meta awareness is helping me to make better choices in the short term and right now that feels helpful.
And, a reflection: I also need to stop expecting things will happen FOR me, in the personal or professional sphere. Examples: it’s great to say yes to social invitations, but one might not come. It’s great to wish someone else would magically arrange something fun for me, but that’s unlikely to happen. That means I have to create my own opportunities, big and small. (SMALL: watching a show with a kid that we both like, or spending 30 minutes playing piano. BIG: planning big work projects or a weekend away.)
I know this, and am usually good about doing it, but I think the reminder is helpful right now.
And finally: I am considering looking into HRT but am not in a hurry. I think I will . . . continue to maximize other approaches first and continue to pay really close attention to patterns. (I fully intend to go down that path at some point, btw. Just wasn’t expecting to do it at 45.)
In addition to all of this ‘self’ drama, the kids have had some tough things too. I love having teens and preteens, I do! I continue to appreciate that in many ways I am in the golden age of parenting, AND ALSO . . . they can still really REALLY do a number on my life outlook and mood. I honestly felt like this whole January downslide started with a day partially derailed by kid-induced stress and I haven’t been able to climb out since.
At least my hair is straight!
2 Comments
They say you’re only as happy as your least happy child and it’s true! Lisa Damour has some great stuff about making sure your own emotional responses don’t get more intense than your teen’s. . .
1) The comparison trap seems different to me than the “Let them” thing Mel Robbins was recommending where you more or less “allow” people to treat you like garbage because you “can’t control” them.
2) I just want you to know that every time you think about yourself in a negative light compared to another person, you are being officially ridiculous. You are incredibly accomplished and an inspiration to a lot of people.
3) I think you’re going to be great at healthy reframing and positive psychology exercises, so maybe keep leaning into that. 🙂
4) Yay for walks. They really do help.