My New Month dance is going to be particularly rapturous tomorrow.
I have been, for the most part, a mess this July.
YES, there were good moments (really good ones — Kae’s visit and our recent trip, especially!). But overall, I would say I spent most of July in a very twitchy, stressed out state.
I probably scrolled more than the rest of the year combined, and I have nothing to show for the lost time other than the aforementioned twitchiness and stress. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT!
I mostly ate like garbage (technical term to mean way too much sugar and not enough protein).
I skipped a lot of workouts, and feel like I am leaving the month less strong than I entered it.
And of course: our house is currently kind of a disaster zone. Forget about Konmari; we are about 6 laundry loads behind.
In the spirit of self-compassion, I should also note that:
- I spent the month as the only mobile parent
- Our nanny was on vacation for the last 2 weeks (normally she does a LOT of the laundry and general housekeeping)
- I took 2 clinical days off but otherwise worked through all of the above
SOOOOOO, yeah. I am very much in need of a fresh start. And I cannot wait for Josh to be able to walk and drive again (both for his sake, of course, as well as my own!). We don’t know when that will happen but he has a 6-week follow up next week, so every finger crossed for that, though initial recs were that it would be 8-10 weeks before weight-bearing so I probably should not have high hopes.
I plan to do some reflecting tonight/this weekend as to what that might look like. While catching up on laundry . . .
More to come.
3 Comments
You deserve to have THE BEST rest of 2026 possible. I feel so sorry for all that you and your family have gone through this year! You are modeling pivoting and feeling badly about plans changing and then making the most of it for your kids SO WELL (but I’m sorry that you have to). Thinking of you a lot and sending lots of hugs from Virginia!
So challenging and all very understandable! I thoroughly enjoyed The Measure when I read it a couple years ago and love discussing with people: would you want to know when you’ll die? If yes, what would you change about your life today? I ultimately land on not wanting to know because unless I found out my time was very limited i.e. <1 year, I like how I spend my life generally so for example if I had 10 years, I'd still need to work but meanwhile it would be hanging over me all the time and I would feel more pressure in how I spend my time which wouldn't be good for me aka not allowing myself to relax enough.
I hope you have a last few months of 2026 with the level and quality of eventfulness that fills your cup. You (all of you!) have gone through it, and I want nothing but good things for you in the rest of 2026 and beyond!