Today is my only clinical day this week.
I peaked into my inbox yesterday and — well, let’s just say it’s probably going to be a long day. Taking days off is awesome but there is always a tradeoff in terms of the number of patient messages / results / etc.
BUT one long clinical day in a week also isn’t so terrible (!).
I do sort of feel like this month has gotten away from me a bit, though. The first week was a call week, the second was like . . . catch up from the call week, and the third was a whirlwind of race prep/bday prep/not exactly sure. I fell back on some screen habits that I REALLY dislike (reddit = just as bad as any form of social media for me) as I was feeling stressed, and I can’t even really identify what I was stressed about!
Things on my February goals list that I have not gotten to:
2021 PHOTOBOOK – I think I am through September in terms of album creation? My philosophy with photobook projects is definitely ‘done is better than perfect’ but I have to admit I don’t enjoy the creation process very much. I probably should think about letting Annabel do 2022 if she is willing.
WORK ON WEEKEND ROUTINES. The current weekend routine seems to be pack 9534 things in and collapse in a heap. We have successfully added the library as a fairly regular Saturday occurrence, which is nice. Actually, I’d say Saturday is decent. But come Sunday, Josh and I tend to run out of energy. The house is often a disaster, the laundry out of control (HOW does it get that way in 2 days!?) and the whole prep-for-the-week process just feels less calm than it “should” in my mind.
Maybe this is whatever (I mean — despite not feeling ‘ready’ nothing truly disastrous has happened, but I’d love the feeling of a reasonably tidy house / lunches made / groceries shopped for or at least ordered by Sunday afternoon).
On the up side, I have been planning on Fridays when I can so sometimes Sunday prep really isn’t all that much. I think I just have to get the kids to be more helpful/involved in cleaning up etc. I did cook Sunday dinner this past weekend (a Green Chef meal that everyone seemed happy with).
ORGANIZE. I did start clearing out my desk area and books. I want to focus on my ‘personal spaces’ so maybe my closet next? Not a lot of progress though!
CREATE 2023 BOOKS PAGE. Ahhhh! Maybe by the end of the month? This page is more for me than for anyone else — love having fresh ideas for what to read next and I enjoy tracking my reading throughout the year.
SET DATE/LOC for BLPA LIVE. We are close – date is pretty much set and hotel-wise it’s down to 2-3 contenders!! I just need to tour and commit and figure out how to manage the concept of a room block!
This is not all going to be accomplished this month and that’s ok.
On the upside, I will have lots of fun things to stick in my photo collage (C’s bday, the race, our NC weekend, V day!). That probably matters more anyway.
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No suggestions, but empathizing with the weekends. I haven’t found the right balance and have the sabe struggle of feeling burnt out by Sunday night. I will say that it seems a teeny bit better if we can slip away Saturday night and get a sitter. OR if my husband can take the kids out for a bit on Sunday so I have time at the house to tidy/prep and get my head together for the week. Look forward to reading other people’s thoughts/suggestions
Also yay on BLPA live! Will it be limited to BLPA participants? Or open to anyone? Excited to hear more about the format!
Yes, agree with this 100%. Also with the comments below, starting on Fri or Sat a.m. when I can. Solidarity for tiring weekends, also with older kids 5 & 8
One idea sparked by reading yesterday’s post followed by this one this morning: when my sister and I turned 11 my mom had us take over doing our own laundry. It doesn’t have to be that extreme, but do you think Annabel would be able and willing to help do a load on the weekends to make you and Josh feel less overwhelmed? You could start with something simple like towels. Laundry is one of those things, that is fairly simple to do but can have a huge weight on mental load
You didn’t necessarily ask for suggestions but I also was feeling VERY stressed about Sundays and have done two main things that have helped. For reference, my kids are nearly 4 + nearly 7 and we both work full-time. 1) Friday night is movie night for the kids. I don’t usually watch but instead get a jump start on weekend chores (which sounds super un-fun but honestly I find it so helpful). This usually means doing at least 1 load of laundry and some general tidying up/going through the backpack/putting away stuff that has accumulated out over the week. 2) Chores are written on our kitchen white board so we can all see them and cross them off as they’re done and kids are expected to help. The kids are in charge of folding and putting away their own laundry, making his bed (the older), tidying their rooms, and doing whatever other random thing we need to accomplish (empty dishwasher, vacuum, etc.). I always write ‘pack lunches’ on the board and have found that getting them done on Saturday makes my life better, though this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the kids help with this, particularly the little guy if he’s in a chopping mood (I pack salads for me + my husband for every lunch and he can chop veggies with his kid-safe knife). For the most part, we require that chores are done before any impromptu fun starts (example: “can you text the neighbors and see who can play?” “Yes, I can – but you can’t go out until your laundry is put away”). Scheduled events are a different story, especially things like 9am basketball games (chores don’t happen before that, usually).
My husband and I recently had a sit-down about kids and chores because I felt like everything was falling to me (like Josh, he’s got the longer-hours-job so I’m the one home more even though I also work full time). We’ve both gotten better about requiring them to do more before fun/screens/whatever and they’ve been receptive. My older one in particular responds well to crossing things off a list (apple doesn’t fall far…).
Interestingly, I’m on crutches for a few days right now and it’s amazing how much more the kids are able to do when an adult can’t do it for them! My new challenge to myself is to make this last even once I’m more mobile!
All of this being said, a main difference (I think) between you and me is that you expect to be able to relax on the weekend and I…don’t. I’m often trying to use whatever time I can to get ahead for the week. It works, but it also means that I never just sit down by myself to read a book, though we do often have family (grandparents) over one weekend night and/or do a firepit with our neighbors – so perhaps my downtime just looks different!
I think this is all really good advice. Thanks for sharing — I took notes!
I think the expectation thing is just so hard. I agree that I can get the things done on the weekend that need to be done + feel like I have a nice time with the kids, but just don’t ever feel like I have enough time (?any time) to read, journal, exercise, etc. I can’t remember the last time I watched a TV show when I wasn’t also either folding laundry or doing dishes. I don’t know if this will in reality solve things but I honestly think that as soon as it makes sense financially I’m going to cut down to 3 or 4 days of work per week and not replace it with anything income generating so that I can have more time/space for all of the above. I fully recognize/appreciate the BOBW philosophy of outsourcing a lot of this stuff that is somewhat below your pay grade, and I embrace a lot of it, but I think the truth of it is that I really don’t want to outsource a lot of the household management stuff.
I would outsource the photobook to A if she has interest in taking it on. Otherwise, I would consider trying to work on it throughout the year like I do. I generally try to work on the last 2 months, so in March, I do Jan-Feb pages. In May, I do Mar-Apr pages. That way it is not such an overwhelming project and I remember more about what was actually going on during those months. I will sometimes get behind but will find times to catch up when I have a less busy day or weekend or a random day off. I started to use this approach for our 2020 photobook, I think, and it’s worked really really well for me! Then once the book is done, I wait for an unlimited free pages deal on Shutterfly to order it.
Chiming in a little late here (new phone and I did a total “fresh start” so it has taken a bit of time to get it all set up.) I second the commenters who say that the kids can do more!
I’ve started doing photo books during a co-working time offered by The Family Photo Keeper. It’s $5 for four hours of video co-working, and she offers it twice a month (I have only done one session a month – partly due to scheduling conflicts, and partly because I don’t want to spend 8 hours a month on photos.) I have a decades-long backlog, though, and this has been a really nice way to make progress without having to think about it except during those specific time blocks. And I don’t blow it off the way I might if it were just on my calendar without the external accountability- like you, I don’t love doing it!
That is a really cool idea!!