Comments Yesterday
So interested in the varied responses here! I was actually surprised at how screen-free some of these comments skewed, though perhaps there is a selection bias as to who feels comfortable sharing their current status.
I am not aiming for screen free in our home. C asked to watch a Netflix baking show yesterday between school and soccer practice, and I said yes (his homework was already done). I also let him text his school friends for about 15 minutes. G watched an episode of Ada Twist, Scientist with our nanny while I attended A’s National Junior Honor Society induction (go A!!! This was exciting).
TV doesn’t bother me especially when the dosage is moderate and it’s a request to watch a specific show (and particularly when that show is longer-form and seems to have some sort of point/plot to it). According to Jonathan Haidt (not the ultimate authority or anything, but he’s spent a lot of time thinking about these nuances), It’s even better if multiple people are watching the same thing and reacting together, but that’s not always easy to achieve in our house due to varied interests. To me, some TV feels like a happy medium between “YOU HAVE TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES” and “GO AHEAD, BINGE ON YOUTUBE SHORTS UNTIL YOUR EYES BLEED!”. At the same time, I 100% respect (and can tell from the comments) that there is a broad spectrum of what works for each family.
I’m looking forward to having a more nuanced discussion with the kids on all of these (particularly the older ones, not sure G will “get” anything yet, really).
On the topic of things to do instead, I had a 2025 goal to launch family reading time and I think this fits in here so well.
I don’t have many other Q2 goals . . .
I almost never struggle with coming up with a seasonal goals list, but this time I did. I followed my own process for seasonal planning (which generally works, or at least I like to think so!). But, in reviewing what we have coming up as a family there was A LOT (travel, events, etc). And in evaluating my current energy levels — well, you know what I’m dealing with here.
And so, I ended up not really wanting to set many concrete goals.
Most of them revolve around moving more slowly and intentionally, and then I have a whole category related to planning, which is really meta, but we have a number of things coming up that I need to think through (family summer trip, finishing up with camp stuff) and figuring that out feels like a goal in and of itself.
Basically I’m trying to keep things easy and not add “extras” which is always tempting for me so I’m proud of my restraint!!!
8 Comments
It’s funny how before the internet TV was the big bad thing that people wasted their lives on, and now it feels pretty healthy to kick back with a show. I just found a couple of TV shows that I really liked (ACV from your recommendation and We Were the Lucky Ones), and I struggled at first to only watch the shows without being on my phone and grabbing my laptop. Some of my favorite “sitting around the house” memories are when Hubs and I start watching something, and it’s so good that the kids end up watching it with us.
Bravo for keeping things simple for Q2!
I’m glad you showed some restraint as you have a big quintile with important doctor appointments which will *hopefully* provide clarity. And you are in the early innings of adjusting to this major, life-changing dx.
If you feel drawn to plan something, maybe planning some fun things will fulfill your desire to plan without putting pressure on yourself. I am doing 25 for 25 but it’s pretty much all fun things so it’s a really enjoyable challenge!
We were on a grand pause of me reading out loud to Paul but we re-started the HP series and he is loving it. We are on book 2 right now and I’ve promised him we can watch the movies, although we need to watch them when Will is not around as I think they will be too intense for him. At some point, the HP books will probably be too intense for Paul so I am enjoying them while they are working!
I think that there are previous episodes of BOBW and BLP that discuss screen time as well.
My understanding, Dr. Sarah Hart-Unger, is that whenever you have a guest on BLP, if the guest has written a book, and if the topic of the book is among the topics of that episode, then you’ll read that book beforehand. I suspect that that is not related to the “family reading time” though.
I also think that planning for goals that are related to planning is really meta. Although I have no plans to track the time that I spend on time-tracking.
I’ll be interested to see what you land on with screen time. The big challenge for us in my 7yo daughter LOVES listening to music which I don’t mind, but the easiest way for her to do this is via an iPad or one of our phones (we have Apple Music). Which means then she’s interacting with a screen during times we don’t want her to, and of course then she’s tempted to do other things since it’s right there. Any ideas for giving kids access to music but not a “tempting” device?
Also, good idea not to add anything to Q2. You are dealing with SO much already.
Ha! Well, hopefully I provided a counterbalance to all the screen-free comments yesterday. (Although- don’t follow my example…) There’s a huge difference between a long-form TV show, and letting your kids binge watch youtube or TikTok. I think you’re doing just fine to allow some strategically timed shows.
My daughter listens to music in her room on a kids Alexa. She just turned 9 and for her birthday we got her a device called Mighty which is basically like an old school mp3 player. You can download playlists and audio books onto it from spotify and apple music. You can only use it with headphones though so more like an ipod.
I would suggest keeping your expectations super low for your dr appointment. They are definitely going to tell you stuff you don’t want to hear, and likely in excess of what you expect. At least that is what my experience has been. I would anticipate little to no clarity. That way if you get anything positive out of the visit at all you can be a little less unhappy.
Oh yeah the comments on your screen free post were special to say the least. You’re a good mom, Sarah, even if your kids have smartphones and occasionally sit on the iPad for hours.